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Was I wrong?

Do you ever just get really annoyed at your family? I just got off the phone with my sister. She was getting all ticked at me. At the beginning of summer I had asked her "since I have off on Fridays during the summer, do you mind if I pick up the girls (her teenage daughters) and take them to the pool with me?" She said "No, problem. they would probably enjoy that and they would get use of our parents pool". So I've been calling them Thursday nights to arrange a time. I called last night as I have been for the last 5 weeks. This morning, I get a message on facebook from her husband (not the girls father) that my sis had plans with the girls today as she had off. I apologized and stated that no one had told me this. He said that I would have if I had asked. I later called the house and my sister went off on me on how I take the girls every week, but never ask her if it's ok. (continued)

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layh41407

Asked by layh41407 at 1:09 PM on Jul. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 36 (79,415 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I replied “Wait a minute. We talked about this in the beginning of summer and you said it would be fine” She said, “well, I didn’t realize it would be a problem when I said that” Apparently her husband (who the girls do not like) had wanted the girls to go somewhere with him and his kids (who, not even my sister likes) last Friday as he has off Fridays too, but they had told him that they were going swimming with me and how could they all do things as a family when they were going with me every Friday.
    layh41407

    Comment by layh41407 (original poster) at 1:09 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • . I have no problem with that, but I was irritated that she didn’t say “Hey, look, I know that I had said it’s ok, but can we change things” or something. Instead, she begins yelling at me about how disrespectful I’m being that I haven’t been asking him before taking them. I have no problem asking permission before, but when we talked about it in the beginning of summer, it was a set thing. Am I wrong in thinking she should have talked to me about it before screaming at me about it ?
    layh41407

    Comment by layh41407 (original poster) at 1:10 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • wow! I so wish I had you as a sister! My sister lives far away and so does my brother but they don't even bother to call my kids for their birthday and I am the only one out of the 3 that has kids. I sense maybe a little jealousy there from her, maybe the girls are having a good time. It's your sister don't attack her back even if she's upset with you. Just apologize again for the miscommunication even though it wasn't on your end and let her know how much you love the girls and you just enjoy having the opportunity to spend time with them. Good luck.

    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 1:12 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • You weren't in the wrong. You sisters husband is part of the problem. Your sister not haviing a backbone is the other part of the problem. Just back off a bit. Make sure the teens know you are not upset with them and let it be.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:12 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • You are right, you had already gotten permission from her way before and it sounds like it's been the routine this summer so far. She should of told you that the plans had changed. I don't think you were wrong.
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 1:14 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I htink your sister was just displacing her anger on to you. I reckon her husband must have yelled at her and she just took it or didn't think it was fair but said nothing and instead took it out on you. Not your fault..just a lack of proper communication all round. You didn't deserve to be shouted at but maybe have some empathy for your sister because it could be she got really laid into by the hubby.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 1:17 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • sounds like hubby is an ass and sissy was taking it out on the wrong person. if she really did have a problem with it she could have called and said "we made plans, maybe after" but it sounds like her hubs is a jerkface and is jealous the kids like you more than him.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 1:23 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • No, I agree with you. You did have permission.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 4:56 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

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