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In response to the question about whether you think your husband is perfect...

I'm disappointed that you closed your question so quickly. : (

I've seen your responses before where you said most husbands act differently when their wives aren't around. The key word is "most."

It's funny because I think you and I have completely different view points but I do agree with you about the core of this issue. I have seen men act differently when their wives aren't around but the common denominator seems to be an over-bearing wife that is about appearances with most everthing (even if her marriage seems to pay for it). I have male and female friends both married and single and I can't really say I've seen any of them act differently with their wives not around. They're always the same person to me. Not saying I've never seen this but the couples I see this with I don't really have any interest in pursuing friendships with either person. The wife is very "typical" wife like in a sitcom where she nags...

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Sara.Robyson

Asked by Sara.Robyson at 1:10 PM on Jul. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,854 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • (cont.) ...and puts down her husband especially in front of others. She makes comments about "Oh men, they're all the same." or the common "boys are dumb" kind of comments. The husband fits into the sitcom role as well saying hurtful things all the time, lying to his wife to get out of things, is downright lazy and only ever has sex on his mind.

    Is there anything wrong with this to anyone else?!? I don't find it funny! It's obnoxious and those are the couples my husband and I avoid because they are so one dimensional and it seems to always be the same thing.

    I don't know why I feel the need to defend my relationship with my husband on an anonymous public forum but I do. I guess it's because I see cliches and assumptions thrown around left and right on here and quite honestly I'm tired of it.

    My husband and I are honest with each other. If we weren't what would be the point?

    (there's more!)
    Sara.Robyson

    Comment by Sara.Robyson (original poster) at 1:16 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • So yes, I think a lot (though I can't say most without really knowing what goes in every marriage) of men act differently when their wives aren't around but that seems like that stems from an intimacy issue and not truly trusting or knowing the other person. I think in a relationship once you have committed you should take the good, bad and ugly the other person has because let's face it we all offer our own good, bad and ugly. (Side not: I am NOT talking about abuse)
    Sara.Robyson

    Comment by Sara.Robyson (original poster) at 1:19 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I'm with you on this! It is sad but women are lead to believe the Cinderella fantasy and want perfect men. Men try hard to be that but reality is that our men are flawed. To keep up the relationship they act differently around the wife, which can include lieing and being different in her absence. It took me forever to see this in my own life. Things became so much better for me when I decided to love someone and accept them for who they are with the knowledge they are not perfect. My husband happens to be bluntly honest and pretty much you get what you see. It used to annoy me but now I am so very grateful for this trait. I know him. I can't say that he doesn't do anything differently when I am not around. We all do. But he repects me when I am not around and I can tell by the way his friends and family treat me.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:43 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

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