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PLEASE HELP!!!!

Since school has started back in September my husbands daughter has been calling 1 or 2 times a week asking him to pick her up cause she doesn't feel good. Last week we had to pick her up then drop her back off after school so she could go shopping with her friends. She has been playing both her parents. Anyway when my husband came home from work this morning she called again and he went and got her and took her home. He didn't get to bed til 10:30 am and he has to be back up at 2pm so I can go to work. He had made plans last weekend to take his daughter to dinner tonight since he didn't see her last weekend cause she wanted to spend the weekend with her friends. When he came home i ask if he was still taking her to dinner and he said yes. I was very upset cause if she can't go to school she shouldn't be rewarded for it. Am I wrong for being upset about it. His daughter is a spoiled 14 year old brat.

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Mama-said

Asked by Mama-said at 11:22 AM on Oct. 1, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I don't know if name calling a 14yr old is appropriate. Maybe something is going on in school that is bothering her. 14 is a difficult age for girls. She could have a bully or problems you guys are unaware of, and she is lying about being sick. You should sit have your husband sit her down and have a heart to heart and see if he can get to the bottom of what the problem is. When I was 14 I hated to go to school on my period and would lie for my mom to come get me. It could be as simple as that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Yes it sounds like she is a daddies girl,,Thats your husband falt not hers,,if he would treat her differently she would act differently..Get on your husband not her
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:29 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Its his daughter. If its not directly hurting you, and its just a jealousy thing, get over it. Let him decide what is right for his daughter. No one likes the jealous stepmom stepping in and telling dad how to raise a kid he has already been raising for 14 yrs. I wish I would have had that relationship with my father and been a daddies girl, but my stepmom did the same thing as you and butted in all the time and ruined our relationship causing tension all the time. He only has 4 yrs left of her being around, let him enjoy it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • My parents told me when i was growing up, if i stayed home sick... no company over unless they are bringing me school work and then its in and out, no going anywhere, and no computer. Maybe its something that you should talk to your hubby about. Because it will show her that since she says she's sick she shouldnt do anything.

    But then again some of the others could be right, if you are close to her, try to talk to her and see if there's anything bugging her in school.
    LadyUsagi

    Answer by LadyUsagi at 11:38 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • He probably should have a talk with her to find out why she is constantly asking to be picked up from school. I also think that she should not go out shopping with friends if she is too sick to stay at school regardless of the reason. Also, he should try to talk with his kid's mom too, to make sure they both are aware of what is going on. My daughter is only 7 and she would tell her dad I said something was ok, when it wasn't and vice versa. It's easy to do when parents are divorced or separated, unless both parents check with each other. I know in some cases it's hard because the divorce or separation is nasty. But, it at least is worth a try if it will help his daughter stay at school and realize that school is important and she should be there.
    lilmomma4

    Answer by lilmomma4 at 11:42 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • major daddys girl, ( so was i) you have a fight on your hands don't push to hard you'll loose.
    tntornado45

    Answer by tntornado45 at 1:45 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Though she may be going through a difficult time at school that doesnt change the fact she is getting rewarded for missing school often. Who didnt have a difficult time in school at that age? There needs to be a compramise then. If she is going to be missing that much school she does not get to go shopping with her friends or to dinner with dad and she has to hold a 3.7 GPA. That will make her want to just tough it out like we all had to do. She is playing him for a fool. I personally wouldnt put up with it. If I stayed home sick I was in bed all day except to get up to go to bathroom and eat. Otherwise I was sleeping or reading. Made me not ever want to pretend I was sick. I only stayed home when I felt legitimately ill.
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 2:44 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • I always had the rule if your sick you stay in bed. I never wanted to stay home sick!

    As for being a stepmom, it is HARD. People tell you to but out and mind your own business, well that is your house as well and what goes on in your house is YOUR BUSINESS!! Unfortunatly you have to tread lightly on sticky situations but do stand up if you feel strongly about something!
    brannen

    Answer by brannen at 3:17 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • UNLESS SHE IS AT YOUR HOME ON THE DAY SHE IS SKIPPING SCHOOL, THEN THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. AS FAR AS YOUR HUSBAND PICKING HER UP FROM SCHOOL, UNLESS IT IS COSTING YOU MONEY OR AFFECTING YOU IN SOME OTHER WAY YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET IT GO. I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE MAD BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WATCH HER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AND USE YOUR HUSBAND, BUT HONESTLY THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. HE IS HER DAD AND TEENAGERS DO THAT, EXPECIALLY IF THEY GET AWAY WITH IT. I WOULD EXPRESS TO YOUR HUSBAND GENTLY THAT YOU FEEL HIS DAUGHTER IS USING HIM, BUT I WOULD CHOSE YOUR WORDS VERY CAREFULLY. THAT IS YOUR HUSBANDS DAUGHTER AND IF HE PICKS HER UP THEN IT IS HIS FAULT HE IS TIRED. YOU MIGHT MENTION TO HER, ALSO GENTLY, THAT WHEN HE HAS TO PICK HER UP FROM SCHOOL IT KEEPS HIM FROM GETTING SLEEP AND THAT IS SOMETHING THAT HE IS LACKING. YOU SHOULD DO IT INFRONT OF YOUR HUSBAND SO THAT NO WORDS GET TWISTED. GOOD LUCK.
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 2:02 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

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