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2 Bumps

almost no intamacy.... adult content

Ok....so my df and I have been together almost 5 ys...I am super attracted to him...and he says he is to me also...the problem....we rarely make love.....if I get it 2 times a month I am lucky....he rarely hugs/kisses me.....he says-when I ask- thats just how he is....always been that way....I have explained I am needy in the hugs and kisses department, but he can't even meet me 1/2 way....does anyone else have this issue...or any advice....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Jul. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • My SO is like that. He is just not a very physically affectionate or intimate person. I force him to give me love, lol. When we are watching a movie, i snuggle up next to him, when I want a hug or a kiss, I take it. My SO will not initiate it, I have to, but then I get what I need, when I need it. GL! My SO also didn't want sex that often until I found that one thing that drives him crazy and started doing it, now he wants it all the time, as long as I give him his 'treat' lol.
    allfiller

    Answer by allfiller at 5:03 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Intimacy is much more than just physical affection. What you're describing is physical affection. Usually, increased physical affection follows increased feelings of intimacy. It's about closeness in the relationship, and how you demonstrate it. He may demonstrate it differently than you do, and differently than you'd like. It's good that you've been talking about it.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 4:35 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Aliceinalgonac is right. It took me a long time to realize that my husband shows me he loves me by working really hard to provide for us, by being there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on, by helping me out around the house whenever I ask. I fought for years about this exact issue with him. He just seemed like he didn't care, but really, it's that my need for physical reminders of his feelings for me just doens't compute for him. It makes no sense to him.

    What has worked for us is for me to focus more on recognizing the ways he shows me he loves me, and to ask him for the things I need specifically. I tell him when I'm feeling really needy "Max, I really need for you to give me a hug and a kiss" or "Love, I really need for you to give me a note."

    Hope this helps!
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 4:42 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I don't know if its because its stuck in my head or what, but this kind of reminds me of this article I read on gay men having wives as a front.

    He's not affectionate, which means he's probably not really attracted to you sexually. I don't know, but just in case, make sure you keep and eye out for signs that he might be gay.
    Deathlilly

    Answer by Deathlilly at 4:42 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Some guys are like that, but it's not what I would want.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:53 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

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