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How do i tell my friend?

I have a friend who has invited my family and I to her church. Although I like the church and the pastor, the childrens class (only one because of the small number of children) not so much. They put in a veggie tales video and load the kids with snacks. There is absolutely no bible study or Sunday school for the whole two hours. And she also goes outside, where there is no fenced area with all the children to play. And it's my friends MIL, so I don't feel comfortable complaining about it. How can I break it to her that although she's head over hills about her church, I'm not! I'd love to find a church for my family, but I really want a strong children's church. How can I let her know we're still searching without hurting her feelings?


Asked by Austinsmom35 at 4:55 PM on Jul. 16, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 24 (18,506 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Uh, tell her the truth...... God wants you to go to the church that speaks to you and your children. Clearly this is the church for your friend, but it doesn't seem to be the one for you. Be honest about your concerns. Who knows? Maybe this will begin a focus for the church to revamp their kids program. Or here's a crazy idea.....maybe God led you to this church to step in and create the kind of kids program for them that you would like for your children. Maybe this is a ministry opportunity for you. Anyway, give it some thought and some prayer. Every church isn't for everyone. She should understand. Part of my hesitation in ever accepting a church invitation from a friend was that fear of not liking "their" church. Thank the Lord a friend who I knew wouldn't hold it against me if I didn't care for the church she attended asked me and I've been going for almost 3 years now.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 5:05 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I think no matter how you tell her, she may be a little hurt because she probably really wants you going to the same place. Just be honest and tell her that it is just not the best fit for your family, but you really really appreciate her inviting you and hope that she won't e upset with you over it.

    Answer by KTMOM at 4:57 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • A friend will understand. We don't all like the same things, we all want/need to do what is right for our families, and a friend will understand that you're looking for something different.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 4:57 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • tell her that that church isn't for's not for you...simple as that and say what you have want to keep looking...if she is a true friend and a true christian..she won't be offended...she probably enjoys having a friend there at her church...churches are like cars...not going to buy the first one you see....right?

    Answer by Safirejewl at 4:58 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • How about something like this? You know, I really like your pastor and many other things about your church, but we are really looking for a church that is a bit larger and that has a few more programs that yours does. We may come and visit from time to time, but we really feel that we need to visit some other churches, too, so that we can find out just where it is that God would have us to attend Sunday School and worship.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:03 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I would tell her just that... " I don't think this church is the best fit for our family & I'm going to continue looking." IF she wants reasons simply tell her you would prefer a different or more indepth Sunday School for your child. A real friend will understand that church isn't about your relationship with HER it's about your relationship with God.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 6:20 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Just tell her that you want to keep looking, and that you haven't made up your mind yet.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 8:07 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • "we're just trying to find a church with a little more structure to the children's time" and leave it at that.

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 10:00 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Be honest and say "No Thank you."

    Answer by MamaK88 at 3:00 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I would suggest that you don't call the children's class "Sunday school" but call it "Bible class". It would put an emphasis more on what it seems like what I'm reading that you want for your kids.

    Answer by May-20 at 8:39 AM on Jul. 18, 2010