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2 Bumps

My mother is so controling I think my head might explode!!!

I have known this for YEARS, she likes to be in control of things. We are very good friends and get along well most of the time.

But when she gets something on her mind, she cant let it go....

Right now, its my dd's hair....I had it cut in a fashion that she personally does not like, I do of course....

So, I have to hear about it EVERY DAY....like this "I just dont like it b/c its like a womans haircut, I like her hair in a strait bob, I just wish you hadnt done it like that, you know what I mean"

I cut her off, wont let her finish...I have told her I AM THE PARENT I get to choose how my dd's hair is cut! Told her SHE got to choose how my hair was done when I was little, now its my turn....

It doesnt matter, its almost like she is OCD on certain issues....

What would you do....how would you handle this....??? Without destroying your relationship....??

Answer Question
 
mom2twobabes

Asked by mom2twobabes at 5:09 PM on Jul. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (12,305 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Most times what moms do is out of L♥VE. Your the mom now...so you do whatever you want with your children.
    Cochise

    Answer by Cochise at 5:12 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I would say we've already had this conversation, and I know how you feel. If you continue to talk about this, I will have no other choice but to leave and go home or wherever else you need to go. You can acknowledge her, but you don't have to listen to her say the same things over and over again. You have the right to walk away and to tell her why you are leaving. If she can talk about something else, then you can stay.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:12 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I'd tell her that I appreciate her opinion but that you have made a decision and hope she respects it. End of discussion. If she continues then tell her to stop. She may not be aware she's rambling on about the same subject over and over.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:13 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • RESPECT....that is the word I need to use!!! Respect for me as a mother now! My gosh I am 31 !!!!
    mom2twobabes

    Comment by mom2twobabes (original poster) at 5:14 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I would bet on OCD too. My mother is SO like that. For the time being, I've had no choice but to cut her off.
    reason is that my sister assulted me about a year and a half ago- left me with mad injuries that took months to heal.
    after it happened she reemed me that I was to say that I fell into a chair, that way I could just go back to my life and not hurt anyone- forget the fact that i was badly hurt.
    until recently she wouldn't talk about it, now she first tried to tell me that it never happened. I asked her how she would explain the medical reports and such-
    silence.
    'oh, I know! it must have happened when you fell into that chair!'

    I never fell into any chair, & that wouldn't have caused the injuries I had in several different places.
    Hospital even said they wouldn't have believed it if I had told them that.

    so now in her true form, she keeps telling me 'I want to make sure you understand what REALLY happened!' cont
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 5:16 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • op you just answered your own question.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:16 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Tell your mom politely 'Listen, I'm the parent. If you value our relationship you'll stop. I know you think you're doing the right thing, but you're putting me in a very odd situation that is stressing me out and I don't appreciate it. I respect your opinions but ultimately I am the deciding factor. So, now that I've said that...." and ask for input on something for your daughter's clothes or what to cook for dinner or something that will lighten the mood but still make it a final say sort of thing.
    Mrs.Halloween

    Answer by Mrs.Halloween at 5:17 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • cont-
    "I don't want you to suffer, thinking that it was a assult, you need to listen when I tell you that you just fell!"
    she's done this all my life after I got hurt by my father and other household members.

    She'll do the same thing over and over about all kinds of things.

    my heart goes out to you!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 5:17 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I would tell her that if she is going to continue to insult my child then she wouldn't be seeing her anymore. My mom tries to put her opinions in too and I always just tell her that I will take that into consideration and hearing it one time is enough. GL
    allfiller

    Answer by allfiller at 5:22 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • i dont get along with my mom since she let my then 4 year old rome the wlamart parking lot alone-ignore her!
    johnny4ever

    Answer by johnny4ever at 5:49 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

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