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Do you let other peoples problem stress you out? (friends, family etc.)

My sister called me the other day and said I need your advice. The first thing that came to mind was you don't take my advice. But I listen to her problem and gave her my advice. To make a long story short. I've been thinking about her problem all day/night.

 
Cassandre

Asked by Cassandre at 8:13 AM on Jul. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (220,043 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • I do the same thing....to the point of anxiety over things that both do not affect me nor can I do anything about it. I think the best thing is distance too, that way you dont have to be rude and tell them that you cant deal with their problems or anything like that.

    It is not worth it or healthy for you mentally. Just try to keep yourself busier than usual when you are worrying about others, or get a journal and write about what youd really like to say to them.......this is what I do. And it helps. I also talk to my husband about it to get it off my chest in a safe place....lol.

    readytogetgoing

    Answer by readytogetgoing at 8:43 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I used to do the same thing, and occasionally I still do. I've found that you are better off to detatch yourself, especially since most of the time they exaggerate the story to you, and aren't nearly as worried as you are after they have told you. LOL If you really can help them, do it, but if not, pray for them and move on.
    momof3josephs

    Answer by momof3josephs at 8:17 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I think there's a difference between thinking about the problems of others and letting them stress you out. If you don't at least think about them, you don't stand much chance of coming up with a solution that might work for them. If you are talking about worrying over the outcome, then that is taking it a little too far.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:19 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • You could call and ask how it is going, I give advice to my sisters all the time, and if it worries me i call and chit chat and slip the issue in and ask more about it, or what they though of my advice (I am REALLY REALLY close with all three of my sisters so its easy for me) If you aren't the closest maybe calling and keeping up to date on her issue may help her to know she isn't by herself and will have you to talk to about it and maybe will calm your nerves at the same time :) Good Luck
    smilelovesmile

    Answer by smilelovesmile at 8:18 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I used to do that but finally realized helping with some honest advice is all I could do. You need to learn to give your honest advice, wish them well, and drop it out of your head. It's hard but it can be done. Best wishes.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:18 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • i don't have time to stress over other people when i already have my own stress.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 8:17 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Unfortunately, yes. I let my DH's problems with his ex-wife and daughter bother me for years. The Ex would piss me off and I always worried about the duaghter. I drove my DH crazy obsessing about it. Thankfully, my SD is turning 13 and is old enough to decide what she wants. I have pretty much detached myself from the situation. I enjoy her when she's here, but I have stopped worrying when she's not.
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 8:39 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I used to. Then I realized that all the focusing on my families problems was causing me to loose focus on my own. Now, I'll be the first to lend an ear and when I hang up the phone, that's it. My mom is one who calls most, complaining about her husband (she's never really liked him), my brother (in jail, yet again, sucking them dry with his snack and phone card demands), her bills, all of it. She used to ask for advice but after a while of telling me that I was telling her the same thing as everyone else was and she didn't want to hear it, I stopped giving it even after asked. Now, I just let her vent for an hour or two and she's better. It drains me too much worrying about grown people who messed up their lives.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 10:22 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Well she's your sister. I love my sisters and would stress over things with them but not so much with people I am not close to. We do it because we care.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 11:02 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • No, sure don't. It's not my problem to stress or worry about. Truth be told, I don't even really stress and worry about my own problems (when I have them). For me personally. Stressing and worrying about a problem does not help the matter at all, doesn't change the matter and really does nothing but make me feel worse and everything seem worse.

    I will listen to someone's problems. I will give advice or an opinion only when asked. And that's where it ends. How to handle the problem is entirely up to that other person, ultimately I have nothing to do with making the decision in regards to how to handle the problem. So, my thinking is, why waste my time, my energy my "brain space" and my emotions stressing and worrying about someone else's problems.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:07 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

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