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3 Bumps

Discipline and the one year old - HELP

I have a 16 month old that is really starting to test me. She doesn't come when called and this morning she threw a fit when I tried to put her in her highchair for breakfast. These are just a couple of examples of her trying to get her way...but anyways the question I have is how do I effectively discipline her?? The highchair thing happens in restaurants also, she tries to get out of them. Any tips? She is my first and this is new to me. Thanks so much for taking time to answer.

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Asked by cdecker83 at 9:45 AM on Jul. 17, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 16 (2,714 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • This isn't really a discipline answer, but something that might help with the highchair situation. Take her to the store and let her pick out a travel booster. You can say something like: "We are going to the store so you can pick out your own chair for at home and when we go out." Knowing that she picked it out and now she is a "big girl" and doesn't need a highchair should do the trick.

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 9:50 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • My dd's doing the same thing & its driving me crazy! Everything has turned into a battle of wills. My last straw is when she tries to slap me in the face when I'm putting her in her car seat! I try to stay consistent w/ her, pick my battle. When she starts to hit or slap I grab her hands & tell her we don't hit. She won't sit in time I guess what I'm saying is I'm in the same boat as you! Anybody got any help?

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:50 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • she's testing you all right! the key to anything is consistency. don't let her get away with something if you've scolded/disciplined her for it before. it seems like its harder on you than it is her, and that's how easy it will be to say, ''just forget it'' and let her have her way. that will only serve to make her more defiant and stronger-willed. when she acts up (whatever the offense is), take her aside, tell her why its not appropriate behavior, and if you threaten with a spanking/taking toy away/whatever, follow-through with it when she starts again. we have a 3-strike rule with our 5yo (i know, older and can understand more, but..) and it seems to work well. he got a few 'outs' in the first week we implemented this all he says is ''is that a strike? i don't want it to be. i'll stop.''

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:52 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • i have a 3 yr old ds and a 22 month old dd. because she sees big brother doing things like sitting in a booster chair at restarants she wants to do it too. she also likes throwing fits where she drops to the floor and hits her head against the floor or even the wall. so what i do is i tell big brother could u go sit on the time out mat for 1 min. and he will sit there and then so will dd. ds knows he isnt in trouble though. when ds was my only i started doing a time out chair. and it helped but on days when it didnt id put him on his bed and tell him u need to relax and mommy needs a time out.

    Answer by knagsmom at 9:56 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • The problem for me isn't consistency. What meant no yesterday still means no today. My dd has a fit everytime she gets told no, if its something she really wanted she'll throw a temper tantrum including slamming her head against the floor. She will purposfully go after things she knows she's not allowed to have/do like grab the remote off the table. She knows she's not allowed to have the remote or grab things off the table. She'll wait till my back is turned & immediately head off to get into trouble. I know she's testing me & consistency is the key but what to do when she purposefully does things she knows she's not allowed to & then has a melt down when told no? The tantruming is really getting on my last nerve.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:59 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • time out! a 1yo will have a 1min time out..... 2yo has 2 min. timeout so on and so forth. first you will have to take her by the hand and put her in the corner yourself. if she leaves you just say timeout and put her back. trust me she will get it eventually. it's been really successful for me. and make it clear to her that a timeout can be anywhere..... in a resturant, at the park, playdates, etc. don't yell or get mad. just look at her when she starts being bad and say 1 min. time out. eventually she will go into the corner herself. it really helps to calm them down and to think twice before acting up.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:12 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • This too shall pass. there's a couple things going on: 1. she's testing her boudaries. 2. she's growing and wanting to be a bigger girl but isn't always ready to be a big girl. My daughter stopped using a high chair as soon as she "told" me she didn't want to. We got her a little desk to eat and color at. You don't need to discipline at this age, redirect and let her know what she can do. think of her like a puppy: if she isn't stimulated she'll get destructive. Keep her busy with new activities, let her help you with everything she can. and 3. she's trying to get your attention. This is why letting her help you with everything helps. let her stir batters, sort clothes, carry in light groceries, carry her dishes to the sink, feed animals, etc. Talk with her and explain everything you are doing. When she does something you don't want her to, tell her no and redirect. Don't get angry, take breaks away from her if you are.

    Answer by Cassarah at 10:20 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • We spanked our children, and we started when we knew that they were deliberately being disobedient. That was earlier than 16 months. We didn't beat them by any means, but when we told them no when they reached for something they weren't supposed to have, we smacked their hands. When we told them to come and they didn't, we spanked them on their bare legs. The number one objective of every parent should be to teach obedience and respect of parental authority. Once you accomplish that, the rest is gravy. It is not so much discipline as it is in training your children to obey. Children are born wanting to have their own way and exert their own power. All of life is about submitting to authority and the earlier you begin to teach that, the better off your child and you will be. Spanking has come to be known as child abuse, but it's not. It is much more abusive to allow a child to grow up thinking she rules the world.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:49 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

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