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Would you invite a child to your kid's birthday party if your kid didn't like the other child?

There is a child that we've known for four years and my boys tolerate him but never ask to play with him. The other child always invites my boys to his birthday and to playdates and things. I don't want to seem rude so we try to make some of it (this year we're out of town for the bday party) but I don't want to make my boys play with a child they don't really like simply because we know them. The other kid is 6, my boys are 8 & 5, and he's rough but not on purpose, he seems to have impulse control issues but has gotten much better over the years. I feel bad about not inviting the child (not that there are going to be many other kids at the party, mostly just family) but I don't want to make the other guests uncomfortable.

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Mommy22boys

Asked by Mommy22boys at 10:10 AM on Jul. 17, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 6 (126 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Its your kid's party, you should only invite ppl you know they want there. Its the only day a year where its there special day. Leave the lessons in tolerance for playdates & other events, let them enjoy their day.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:12 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I wouldn't. My daughter's party is next weekend and I metioned inviting our neighbor that she plays with and she said no. They have been fighting lately and I really don't want her to be upset at her party.
    reesemom

    Answer by reesemom at 10:12 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I wouldn't. It would be her party, her choice. I would ask why she wouldn't want to play with this kid and ask if she thinks it's a fair reason. If she seems secure in her reason not to play with this kid, then they won't be there, but if she's kind of "eh, I don't know" about it, I'd ask if maybe the kid should come and give it another shot.
    Just because someone is a good kid doesn't mean they will click good with every other kid. Some will be friends, some won't.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 10:13 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Sounds like you better not invite him. It is your kids party.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:20 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I initially wanted to say yes- you dont want to hurt the other child or his mother.. But then when I thought about it from a kids point of view & Id feel horrible if I ruined my sons bday party bc I invited a kid he didnt want to play with.. In the end of it- Its about your son. Do what makes him happy!
    pinkcicle709

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 10:29 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • No I wouldn't. And if anybody says anything you can always tell them it was a family party and let it go at that.
    asmcbride

    Answer by asmcbride at 10:31 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I wouldn't invite him and if there is any question from the parents or from the child you can tell them that you didn't do anything big this time it was only family.

    There is kid that my son use to hang out with but they have grown apart. But since the mom and I friends and the boys are in so many of the same activities, my son has to tolerate him. We share rides and do boy scout projects and things together. I feel bad sometimes but I told my son that he doesn't have to be best friends with him but he has to "play nice".
    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 10:37 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • You said the other boy always invites you to his parties and playdates and such ... do you go? It seems to me that if you go to his events and such and then don't invite him back, that's quite rude. On the other hand, if your children don't attend his stuff, then there is no need to invite him to yours. It's not about tolerance, it's about doing what's right.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 12:38 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • We haven't been to an event he's invited us to in over a year. But we live in a sort of small city, by that I mean, we run into them when we run errands or at the park or other family oriented place, at least once a month. I've been trying to distance ourselves from them since I know my kids aren't really comfortable around him. But we ran into them at the post office and they mentioned inviting us to his next bday party which we'll be out of town for. When we run into them we don't ignore them or anything, but we don't actively seek them out.
    Mommy22boys

    Comment by Mommy22boys (original poster) at 12:49 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • You said the other boy always invites you to his parties and playdates and such ... do you go? It seems to me that if you go to his events and such and then don't invite him back, that's quite rude. On the other hand, if your children don't attend his stuff, then there is no need to invite him to yours. It's not about tolerance, it's about doing what's right.

    ***

    ^^^ THIS!!!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 6:48 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

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