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how important is attraction

I've met a guy, he's four years older. He was actually my senior in high school. Although, I don't remember him in school.
We're starting talking, have seen him in town a few times in passing. Then starting chatting on-line.
He was in law-enforment for 15 yrs and has moved back to our hometown. My issue is that I'm so attracted to him. BUT he seems to be a great guy. I don't want to give up on what could be a good relationship.
so how important is attraction to you? He's not butt ugly, but.. we've both been married and divorces and each have kids. Guess, maybe part of my hesitation is blending family.
Any advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Jul. 17, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • to be perfectly honest, i wasnt at all attracted to my SO when i met him...he isnt ugly, but he would certainly never have caught my eye. but after getting to know him and falling in love with him, i can honestly say i find him to be the most attractive man i have ever met. as a matter of fact, i cant seem to keep my hands off him and my pet name for him is "sexiness". in other words, give him a chance. if you really are compatable, the physical attraction will come.....the concern over blending families thing kind of threw me though. are you just making up excuses not to date him because you're scared to create a blended family? maybe so. that really is pretty lame though. as others have said, if you like him then give him a chance and date him...worry about blended families once you figure out if he is the man for YOU.

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 6:30 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • You should be attracted to his inside if he is a great man then he will be beautiful. Remember the outside always changes but the inside does not.
    Take your time and get to know him better that is the only way you see if he is for you or not.

    Answer by gammie at 10:26 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • you said you're so attracted to him.......... maybe you meant you're not attracted to him?? i would say date him. if it's something his personality can't overcome than you break up. idk why you're thinking about blending families (aka marriage) already if you haven't even started dating yet. don't jump the gun girl! lol

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:25 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • My issue is that I'm so attracted to him. BUT he seems to be a great guy.
    did you mean to say I'm NOT so attracted to him

    i am confused my question
    if he is attractive and great guy
    what is the question??

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:26 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Attraction is what gets you to look and talk to a person. After the initial conversation, then it's what's on the inside. The better a person is, the better they look to you. There are some butt ugly people who are just great people and once you get to know them you wonder why you ever thought they were ugly. If he's a great guy, then why not give it a shot?

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 10:30 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Chemistry is a must in any relationship, you got half the battle won, give the man a chance.

    Answer by older at 10:35 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Attraction is important but only to a degree. Character is what really matters in the long run. My advice is to put the attraction on hold, really get to know the man on a very deep and personal level without any physical involvement, and see if this is someone who shares the same values and goals as you do. Too many women are getting involved with men simply because they feel physical attraction and no marriage based on just that is likely to last very long. So, if you want to make sure this time, be sure that you can bond on a level that goes much deeper than the physical.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:42 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I think personality is more important but I couldn't date anyone who was butt ugly.

    Answer by reesemom at 11:43 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • If I were to meet SO on the street I would not be attracted to him at all. He's not the type I normally am attracted to. He's not butt ugly either but he'll never win handsomest man of the year award. His personality is what attracted me and keeps me around. You get used to looks so looks isn't that important to me. Plus, good looking guys always have women chasing them so then you'd have to worry! Are you old enough to remember the song saying "pick an ugly woman for your wife"? Same for picking husbands! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:17 PM on Jul. 17, 2010