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2 Bumps

My husband's ex filed and emergency order of cause

Basically, my husband has visitation every wed/thurs and every other weekend. His 50 bday is on a thursday and falls on his weekend. We have plans to go on vacation wed thru our visitation. We have from experience notified his ex of our plans so that she doesn't request a switch

history is every year she ignores every request and doesn't communicate and yet every summer wants changes and the communication flood gates open.


We got a request that she booked a flight and therefore requires my husband to forfiet his visitation on that wednesday (when we are planning to be out of town)

Of course, my husband told her no and why. She then used her daughter to communicate, which followed up with 2 letters 2 pages long of nonsense. My husband again said no and why.

Now she filed an emergency hearing. Will she get it? We will loose money on our vacation which is within our visitation rights?

Answer Question
 
cmon

Asked by cmon at 11:29 AM on Jul. 17, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • So you were supposed to have the daughter the whole time anyway? And you let BM know of your plans in advance? Usually, unless a divorce decree states that you can't take the child a certain distance away from the other parent, as ours does, it wouldn't be a problem. How did you originally talk to the mother about it, do you have proof that you did, like a sent email or anything like that? If you had your visitation time, and you had your stuff scheduled and notified her before she made her plans, it is very possible the judge will say you can maintain your visitation plans.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:35 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • My custody agreement states that if my ex and I want the same vacation times, I get first dibs on even years and he gets first dibs on odd years. Is there something like this in your order at all? Maybe there needs to be something in place for future years. In the meantime, she just might get her emergency hearing. Just have documentation of when you requested to have the time, as well as when she made her request to you. Hopefully the judge will see things your way.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 11:37 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • It seems to me that you definitely have the upper hand here, but I have no experience with the court system and the way it rules. I'd think that if she REQUESTS a change, you'd have to approve it. And you have a completely legitimate reason to NOT approve it, especially considering the fact that you told her before of your plans. Good luck! I hope it works out!
    mickstinator

    Answer by mickstinator at 11:37 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Oh wow..and I thought our X was uncivilized! The X in our lives never filed anything like that w/the courts..altho, she spent a lot of her time denying visitation all together. When the kids got older (old enough to understand the situation) the hubby called and told them..when you want to come see me...give me a call you are always welcome. We will plan accordingly. Took the power right out of her hands.

    I'm sorry...I can't offer much more than the previous posters. Good Luck...I know from experience how frustrating and stressful it is dealing with these situations.
    Loryl

    Answer by Loryl at 12:08 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Thank you everyone. the decree says nothing about vacations except that she gets 2 weeks and we do during the summer. Other than that it is regularly awarded visitation which this situation is on our regular scheduled visitation. Fact is we didn't even have to notify her of our plans because it was our visitation to do what we wanted anyway.
    She decided to book a flight on our visitation and wants to force us to giving it to her. He said no 3 times and now she filed an emergency hearing. I don't get it anymore.
    She says no to us and we just quietly accept it. We said no to her with reason and she is throwing a fit with letters neither my husband or I will read and she files an emergency. She refuses every switch we have asked for including switching weekends this past memorial day because our mission trip to haiti fell on our weekend. We were therefore forced to forfiet time.

    I can't see the court allowing this
    cmon

    Comment by cmon (original poster) at 12:15 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • and by the way---she already had her two weeks---this summer. this isn't a vacation request--she got that and we granted that. this is a request to switch regular visitation and now she is demanding it by using the court
    cmon

    Comment by cmon (original poster) at 12:17 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • who has actual custody? Her? Then it's in the hands of the judge. You can deny all you want, but while the child is in her possession, she has the say so.. until after you petition the courts. With an emergency hearing you may have a chance to fight her on the issue.. otherwise you are probably and unfortunately looking forward to a lapse of visitation because the ex likes to be a B!
    Yes after the "laspe" you can petition the court and go through all that BS.. but chances are if she's like this, she'll find a way to screw you out of having your SD during that week. The only other way I can see around it, would be to have the police involved to help you get your SD during your allowed visitation time.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 4:01 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • While you want to take SD on vacation you also have to be weary of what your court orders are on the issue.. if it's not discussed and you are leaving state, then you are going to have to worry about if she is going to petition about that. It's a big headache to have an ex in the picture that is a B!..
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 4:02 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

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