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How do I get my boyfriends 13 year old son to come out his room?

This kid doesn't come up for air. He literally spends 23 1/2 hrs. in there playing video games. He only comes out to grab something to eat and go to the bathroom. Help...It's not healthy. He just moved in with us a week ago, but isn't it up to his dad to do something. He doesn't seem to think there is problem.

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Asked by Cindarella88 at 12:34 PM on Jul. 17, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I don't necessarily agree with it either. No offense but if they don't have a problem with it, maybe its your problem.

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 12:36 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Start walking around in your bra, that'll ensure he never spends time in his room! Just kidding! Most 13 yr olds prefer this to spending time w/ adults. Entice him out by using his stomach, I still don't know a boy alive that'll refuse food. Make dinner or breakfast a daily, family time to talk. Don't ask too many ?'s like its an interrigation, just try to talk to him about things he likes, like his video games.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 12:37 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • thanks I can also benefit from this. My son is permanently glued to his games/ room.
    I just ask Q's about the games, but he doesn't bother to pick up a thing. ( ggggrrrrrr!!)
    So I offer the food options thingy.
    I guess they just grow up

    Answer by coffeeyum at 12:40 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Why don't you take him out or suggest doing things together? You can't force him out of his room or his habits as they must be really ingrained but you can try to encourage him to do things that involve the open air.

    Answer by keyaziz at 12:44 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Make a house rule that all video games are played in a public part of the house. We made the dining room into a video, wii, tv room for our boys. it helps to have them near to involve them in family life.

    Answer by mom2boys1997 at 12:47 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I like the stomach idea. I wonder if you gave up the space (shopping) he might come out. It must be weird for him in a new place. It would be neat to see dad find him a mentorship or something. It takes 7 years to get good at most stuff...wonder what he could start to master~skate boarding, dirt biking, computer repairs, landscape work, painting. Does he want to go abroad later? Language and culture studies....we have kids out at the beach in jr. guards, beach clean up~hanging out with leaders of the craft.

    he needs a purpose maybe?

    Answer by surfcitymom at 12:56 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • hes new to the house and hes finding comfort in his video games even if you dont like it and his father does leave it alone because its going to start trouble regardless of whos house it is you all let him move what you can do is stop by the room sometimes and watch him play start small talk hell get use to you coming around him and themn maybe he wont find it akward to be around his new family because he gotten use to you from the time you stop and talk to him

    Answer by 1LovelyAngel at 1:10 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • You need to sit down with your boyfriend and set up a list of house rules including amount of time spent playing video games/ chatting on computer etc. In my house there are no video games, tv, computers, etc in bedrooms. Everything is out in a common room.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:24 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Think back to when you were that age.Or If you had a brother, like I did, certain things were important to him over other things. And since i'ts the summer, he probably is taking a more laid back approach to it all.Motivation could be the ideal solution here togetting him to come out..

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 1:26 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • My son did the same thing but it didn't last long. He is 15 now and doesn't play much at all. Maybe he will just grow out of it. If not try taking him somewhere he likes to go or just getting him to do little things that take time away from the game. Sorry I couldn't be more help and gl

    Answer by HisandHerMomma at 8:24 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

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