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2 Bumps

He's a liar

My fiance is a liar. He lies to me constantly about where he's going when he leaves the house. I have serious trust issues from the past that I'm trying to work on, but every time I catch him in a lie it erases all the progress I've made and puts me right back at square one. What makes this situation even worse is that I just found out I'm pregnant. I'm a SAHM with 2 kids and no money and nowhere to go if I leave. Which I'm not even sure I should do. I have no friends that can take me in and no family that I talk to frequently enough to even know their phone numbers. I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. I took my engagement ring off today and told him we're no longer engaged. I can't be engaged to someone who thinks of me as a fool and who has no respect for me. What should I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Jul. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • you are never stuck; that kind of thinking just traps women. If you do not want to be with him, find a way to leave. There are family homeless shelters, find a job, then get an apartment. You can do it. Do not marry someone you do not trust.
    coutterhill

    Answer by coutterhill at 2:01 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • you need to leave. point blank... when I left my dd's father, I had one twenty dollar bill to my name, and that was it. I went to a friends, got myself on my feet, and never looked back.

    You can do it.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 2:07 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • you're only as stuck as you think you are its time to get a plan in play im quite sure you could get in touch with family idk what youre going to do about the new baby hopefully youll keep the child right now get a sitter if you can or swap babysitting with a neighbor get a job work it till the baby comes save the money on the side . its time to make friends get in tune with yourself and the next time you're in a relationshio dont abandon everyone else thats the mistake most women do think about the guys still go have beers with their friends keep your family around you see most men sit back and watch all those things then play on it thet figure she dont have any money, friends, family or whatever and that's when the games begin btw stop saying you're stuck watch what you say , keep saying it ,thinking it and believing it and thats exactly what you'll be ..................STUCK
    1LovelyAngel

    Answer by 1LovelyAngel at 2:11 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Trust me, you do not want to be married to a liar. It's one of the worst things--it will erode the emotional intimacy over time. You will never know when he's lying and when he's not, so you'll constantly feel insecure about everything with him. I'm not saying you should leave at this very moment--you have to decide that--but for pete's sake, don't marry him.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 2:12 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • i would ask for help from the people you do know. sometimes people you wouldn't expect end up coming through for you. it sounds like you need real friends right now anyway.
    Mama2Jayda

    Answer by Mama2Jayda at 2:16 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • If you think like a victim, you'll be a victim. You can't just give in to the "I'm stuck" mentality - it's up to you to make a life for yourself and your children. It's up to you - not family or friends even if you did have them available. You can find a job (there are programs that can help people with this) and you can find a place to live. Don't be with someone who mistreats you in any way - and he is mistreating you. This isn't a good relationship. Do you want your children raised in an environment where men lie to and disrespect women?
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 2:18 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • get an abortion & move on with your life. I'll never understand why people make babies when they are in shitty situations, it's just more glue getting stuck to the shit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • You had to have known he was a liar before you conceived this child, so I think now you have to stay and make the most of it. If you don't want him to lie to you, you can just stop asking him where he's going or when he will be back. There are too many fatherless children in the world today, so please don't add another one. Character is very important, and it should be discerned before having sex and making babies with a man. And you gave back the engagement ring? You can't be engaged to a liar but you can make a baby with one? The trust issues that you have don't have anything to do with him. If you choose to trust a liar, that's on you and not on him. Just stay put, and maybe one day he will change into a man who tells the truth. In the meantime, remind yourself that you had a choice and you chose him to be the father of this baby. And put that ring back on your finger and ask for the wedding band that goes with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • mail me, and get rid of him.....
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 8:31 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

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