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Dealing with violent tantrum

My 3 year old son has violent tantrums, throwing anything he can get his hands on, breaking things, kicking or punching doors and walls, throwing himself on the ground, and screaming at the top of his lungs. Time outs just do not work with him. I've tried different aspects of the time out, sitting in a chair which he just gets up & throws the chair, it only works If I physically keep him in the chair until he's calm enough to speak which is not plesent for either of us. Just sending him to his room dosen't work because he has free reign to destroy anything & bang on the walls & doors. I've tried to cut the tantrum before it starts by recognizing the warning signs but alot of the time its unavoidable because he's just so stubborn. He will not comprimise, if it's not what he wants then he's going to throw a tantrum. Is there any suggestions besides time outs on dealing with a tantrum?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Jul. 17, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (10)
  • does he have ANY artifivcal food dyes in his diet

    red #40, blue 1, yellow 5

    i took red 40 out of my childs food diet and she stops smashing her head into wall until bruised, also she had a rash for months and moths, it went away in a week, and head banging went from a few times a day on some days to once a week (after three days of no dyes) to now zero

    hope this is the case, because easy easy answer,
    ** it is NOT the sugar in the candy, it is the artifiacl food dyes made from petrolium


    Answer by fiatpax at 2:18 PM on Jul. 17, 2010


    two links to artifical food dye info
    if you have none of these dyes in your child, i hope this info helps another mom

    made a HUGE difference in my child
    now i can tell if she has had any when she has been at another home or daycare, or we missed a label

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:21 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • It seems like he has no control over his emotions and is experiencing a flood of them. If he is constantly stopped from crying or getting upsetting then he will bottle it up and any opportunity he gets it will come out like all hell broke loose.

    I would let my son have the tantrum and be there after when he has calmed down. I wouldn't ignoreh im, or scold him..I would wait and be there for him and try to understand his frustration. Maybe by saying things like "I understand that you are upset that you coldnt do something etc" and leave it that. Once he was done tantruming I would offer a hug to show him that it is ok to have feeligns and be upset. THEN I would talk to him about what he had done and how it is perfectly fine for him let out his feelings but not by smashing things and throwing things. There is no poin talking to your child about their behaviour when they are in the midst of an emiotioanl just

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:24 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • makes things worse and doesnt help either one or you.

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:24 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • That would be my first step in trying to deal with it.

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:25 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Wow his two favorite cereals that he has almost every morning lucky charms & fruity puffs have these dyes in it. and his tantrums are always the worse after breakfast, late mornings have always been the hardest time of the day for us. I just googled some articles about that too. Thanks for the info I really hope that works!

    Answer by jfblaine83 at 2:26 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • LASTLY..sorry read Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort for more understanding.

    It won't change after one tantrum but it will get better as your child learns how to deal with their feelings properly and with your support.

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:27 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Make sure he is getting enough one on one time with you and hubby too. He needs a lot of positive praise for doing things right plus tons of hugs and kisses.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I would first try to calm him down. You really don't want him destroying things.I think you've exhausted all the obvious choices. I think you need to talk to him and work with him on redirecting his anger issues instead of him throwing things. He is still little enough to try to change his way of being angry when something isn't right or he's upset with something.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 8:31 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • interesting!!!! i should try this with my son he has the worse melt downs and gets violent!

    Answer by kris8525 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

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