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How do you keep your cool with your moody 11 year old?

11 DD can be so sweet and helpful and then she's so darn moody at other times. How in the world do you keep your cool and not blow up at them?? I'm tired of her taking her moods out on the other kids. How do you do it?

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mama3ks97

Asked by mama3ks97 at 2:28 PM on Jul. 17, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 10 (421 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Has she started her period yet? I have an 11 year old that I swear I just want to lock her away at times. Well most of the time. I came on her for answers and I seen your question. I don't know what to do either. Maybe it's the age. I just ignore it. I have to or I will be in a bad mood all of the time. My coworkers tell me it's going to get worse before it gets better. Hopefully I will last that long. Good luck.
    cherrera5

    Answer by cherrera5 at 2:31 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • ooooohhh I know how you feel. I just walk out of the room and take a deep breath. I just picked up a book called Dear Mom it is very insightful and helps remind me of how I felt at that age. Has she started her cycle yet?
    heidi37217

    Answer by heidi37217 at 2:32 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • her dad and i laugh about her moodiness
    usually without her knowing

    but sometimes when both older kids are bad and he gives them extra chore to do together, we laugh out loud and say they are like an old married couple-boy can those two bicker
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:32 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • Realize they learn how to blow up from you blowing up. Children do as they see, not as they're told. Moody kids usually come from moody parents. Unless there is something else going on like a divorce, or problems with friends at school. If that is the case, then you need to help her open up so she has someone trustworthy to talk to about how she feels.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:35 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I send mine to her room for a cooling off period, usually 10 minutes or so. By then, I'm usually ready to handle her more calmly.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 2:36 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I would tell her she can be as moody as she wants, but she can't take it out on me or on anybody else. I would not send her to her room, but I would tell her she has to stay with everyone else and just be quiet until such time as she can be pleasant to others. Hormones have become too much an excuse for all kinds of bad behaviors and I would not want her to grow up thinking that physical discomfort of any kind is ever grounds for being hateful to the family nor to anyone else. If the mouth gets to be too big a problem, she is not too old to spank. We did not tolerate this kind of behavior from our children, and we and they are thankful that we didn't. I think, too, that children are seeing way too much of this kind of behavior all over the place and it has come to be expected of them. Respect for parents and others dictates that children can't be allowed to mistreat others, no matter what their excuses.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:44 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • She has not started her cycle yet. From other signs, I don't think she's too close. I started at 13.
    No major stuff going on at home. She is at a disadvantage with me being bipolar. It's hard to show her the proper way to react to stuff when I can't do it myself half the time. I am improving though.
    I try to give her ideas on proper ways to react. I might tell her we can't act that way and then give an example of what would be a better alternative.
    Thanks for the ideas so far, and keep them coming! :)
    mama3ks97

    Comment by mama3ks97 (original poster) at 3:00 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I tell my daughter to try to relax, so far it's going very well.
    monicamonica

    Answer by monicamonica at 3:21 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • My daughter is 11 and started her period in March. She gets in some of the funkiest moods sometimes. She just gets pouty for no reason. It annoys me so badly! I just tell her to lose the attitude. There is no reason for everyone else in the house to have to suffer because she's in a bad mood.
    missmarla1

    Answer by missmarla1 at 7:43 PM on Jul. 17, 2010

  • I DON'T keep my cool. I tell her once every 2 weeks or so that if she wants to walk around being bratty and treating people badly because she's in a mood, then she can just expect the same in return. I will warn her twice on her bad days that she needs to check her attitude. If she can't handle it, she's sent to her room. I'm not going to let her walk around being nasty all day just to avoid making her upset. She's got to learn to cope with bad days.
    emhain

    Answer by emhain at 3:54 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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