Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My boyfriend is not happy about my pregnancy...anything similiar happen to you?

I just found out I am about 7 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend is NOT happy. This came as a complete surprise. He keeps telling me to "think about us, we aren't ready- emotionally, financially, etc.." He wants me to abort. I will NOT do that. This has put a lot of stress on me because I am terrified he will eventually leave me. I am 22, he is 23. I know things will be hard, but you have to remain positive and take it one day at a time. I never thought he would be so dead-set on aborting this baby. What should I do? Any of you ladies ever been in this situation? I am terrified.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Oct. 1, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Ummmm.... Don't kill your child for your boyfriend. That is ridiculous. He should have worn a condom or not had sex if he didn't want a baby. Tell him that right now the baby has internal organs and a beating heart, buds for arms and legs and fingers and toes.... At the 7th week the embryo becomes a fetus. Your baby is MORE IMPORTANT THAN HIM!!! Save the baby, lose the asshole.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Number one, I would never let someone else influence your decision to keep this child--even this unborn child's father. I've never been in the situation personally, but I do know people who've had abortions and carry emotional scars for the rest of their lives. Your boyfriend is probably just very scared at the moment which makes him panic and say things he may/may not mean. He may feel differently after the child is born and then again he may not. That is something that will come in time, but in the meantime this is a child he helped create and ready or not--the responsibility is near.

    Answer by smizzell at 2:06 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • If you get rid of this one, you may not be blessed with another one sweetie. Whatever HE wont do, another man will.....BELIEVE THAT!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Like they've said, NEVER let someone force you into doing something you don't want to do.

    My boyfriend had the same sort of feelings when he found out I was pregnant. He didn't tell me to abort, since we both knew it wasn't an option (we're pro-choice for others, though). We also don't believe in adoption for the sake of adoption, so he didn't present me with that choice either. He basically gave me a long speech about how hard it was going to be, how we didn't have enough money, how we're too young (I was 19 at the time and he was 22, I'm 20 now and he'll be 23 on the 17th of this month), and blah blah blah. I was really worried that I was going to lose him over this baby.

    Answer by caitxrawks at 2:16 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • (continued since I ran out of room -.-)

    But I dunno, I think something clicked. I think it was the first time he saw our baby on the ultrasound at 10 weeks. It became real to him. It hit him even harder when we found out we're having a girl. Now I'm 28 weeks along, and he's just as excited as I am. He loves it when he catches a glimpse of her moving around inside me, and it's almost as if you can see his heart melt right there.

    I think your boyfriend will come around eventually. It's just not real to him yet. I pray that you get a good outcome like I did, and that your boyfriend will be just as great of a dad as my boyfriend is going to be. Good luck mama :D

    Answer by caitxrawks at 2:16 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • i agree w/other posts. you will regret it forever! he needs to man up or ship out. no matter what, when you give birth to that child, you will love him/her more than anything in the world. it would be hard without daddy if he leaves you, but worth it.

    Answer by CNehneva at 2:18 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Thank you so much for all the posts! In my heart I have decided to keep the baby- it will just be hard to tell my boyfriend. He really is a GREAT man, so I am shocked that he suggested I abort. I talked to my Mom and she said he will eventually come around and if he doesn't- he never loved me in the first place like he said he did. I hope everything works out :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • The same thing happened when I got pregnant with my first. It seems to be their default reaction or something. However, I carried the baby, and kept her, and he's a very involved father. He was there at the birth, and he has more visitation than any other dad I know. When I remind him that he didn't even want her to be born, he calls me a liar. I'd say "Once the baby's here, he'll probably change his tune," but it actually might take a little longer. With men, it's more like, when they're 2 or 3 and can really start interacting.

    Answer by BigMommaJesca at 2:32 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Listen, you need to do what is best for YOU. If he leaves, that's on him, not you...and if he does, you are better off without him any way. I know that is easy to say for me, but believe me when I tell you, as much as it may hurt right away, in the long run you will see that it's the truth. Tell him that you are not under any circumstances having an abortion, and he can either accept that or not, his choice, but he will not be changing your mind.

    There is a chance he's scared and reacting badly, and if that's the case, once he sees the ultrasound or maybe even the baby, he may change his tune...but if he continues to pressure you to do something you don't want to do, then you really need to separate yourself from him. Pregnancy is hard enough on your body without a constant stressor like that.

    Answer by jespeach at 2:45 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Don’t abort if you don’t want to. I was in the same situation and did have one and I have regretted it every day for 7 years. I’m not even with that loser anymore. He may come around, he may not. You can do it without him if you need to, especially if your mom is supporting your decision. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.