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2 Bumps

need advise

I was with my first love for a year we broke up because i moved back to my dads over a hour away from him and we didnt want to do the long distance thing. We always tried to keep in contact with eachother but we ended up stopping. For the year and a half that we didnt speak i ended up getting pregnant and getting married!!! I didnt want to have my daughter and us not be married now i look back and wish we waited on marriage anyways my ex got in contact with me and my husband was ok with it so my friend, husband daughter and i went to visit him a few days ago! My husband doesnt help me with our daughter and just wants to smoke bud (for medical reasons but still i hate it!) so my ex kept askin me if i was happy and if i really wanted this all for my daughter he kept tellin me he would wait forever for me and her. When we were leaving the park my ex picked up my daughters car seat and her since my husband didnt! CONT

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jul. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • We all went to dennys and my husband was being so rude to me and not even caring for his daughter when i asked for help. Then when he was holding her she spit up and he didnt even do anything i had to grab her and clean her up and my ex kept asking "why didnt he do that"
    Well today my husband and i were talking and i noticed maybe im trying to be happy for my daughter maybe im trying to make it better for her. Long story short i support my husband and daughter, i pay the bills, i put the food on the table, i take care of her and make sure we all have everything we need and he just cares about smoking. I love him but i dont know what to do anymore. And my ex said to me this should have been us but honestly im so confused.I dont believe in getting a divorce..... i dont want to ruin my daughters life
    Mommy2be6810

    Answer by Mommy2be6810 at 12:29 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Do what makes you happy and whats best for your daughter. Do you want a smuck that doesn't help? or do you want someone who is eager to be a part of both yours and your daughter's life? Bio dad or not, the title of "Father" is earned.
    Deathlilly

    Answer by Deathlilly at 12:33 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • You say that hubby has medical issues... did you know this before you married him? Does he do anything to help out at all? Are you now questioning all of this with your husband because you are now back in contact with your ex? Seriously, you married this man. You should have known it wouldn't be easy... marriage never is. I will never understand why someone gets married because they are pregnant, it makes no sense. Your daughter will pick up on how you are feeling, especially if you are unhappy. It doesn't matter how young she is. It sounds like you need to sit down and talk to your husband. Tell him how you are feeling about the way he is acting and his lack of help he gives you. I wouldn't bring up the ex though. I don't think contact with the ex is wise at this point. You need to give your marriage a chance and that means giving your husband your attention and love. Good luck with this one.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 12:37 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Well, as they say, "This is a fine mess you've made of things." You have to ask youself some honest questions. Why did you marry a man who smokes pot and is worthless? Why did you marry a man you arn't in love with? Why did you get pregnant? Why didn't you pursue an education first? Why... why... why??? That being said, sounds to me like it's not too late to make some healthy adjustments. Dump your loser husband and start over with the man who cares for you and your child. Good luck my dear.
    Blabbermouth

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 12:41 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • there's a saying - "the grass is always greener on the other side". Maybe you're just now feeling this way because the ex is back in your life. Your husband sounds like he doesn't help, but maybe he doesn't realize that you need help (believe it or not, some men are dense like that!). You need to sit down & talk to him, tell him that you need help. If you want to leave him because you are unhappy then that is fine, but don't leave him for your ex because you could be making a mistake. Those butterflies you're having now may go away (like they apparently did for your DH). Don't make a decision too quickly, try to make your marriage work (if you want to) and if you want to, you may need to cease contact with your ex.
    Ashlynnsmommy07

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 1:04 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I agree 100% with bcauseimthemom.
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 1:33 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Never leave one relationship to jump into another it is never a good idea. I agree you need to seriously sit down and think about everything. And if you do end up leaving your DH do not I repeat do not run straight to this other guy. That would be bad.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 2:24 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • theres a reason he's your ex. Maybe you really miss your ex and its easy now to pick at the things your husband does. Did you feel like this about your hubby before your ex popped up back into your life?! Your husband is your husband and although he sounds lazy he also sounds like he's in it for the long shot. Do you know for sure your ex isn't gonna leave you in the future? Like I said theres a reason why your ex is your ex. Think about all of this before you make a decision you may later regret.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 6:27 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • There's a reason he's your ex. If you're unhappy in your marriage, talk to your husband about it. If you feel there's no hope, then seperate and ask for a divorce. After all of that is over and you've gone through the custody situation with your daughter, if there's still feelings there for your ex and if he is still indeed "waiting", then I say go for it. I wouldn't jump into a relationship in the middle of a divorce or while I'm still married. That usually always ends badly.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:50 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

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