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Out of control

My dd's and I are staying with my in-laws while dh is deployed. I love and appreciate them dearly. I understand that a grandparent's job is to spoil their grandchildren, but it seems like I'm losing control of my dd's. My 4 yr old goes against what I tell her and runs to her Nana. When my 13 month old cries and I try to console her, she screams and hits me in the face. She only calms down when her Papa holds her. I'm happy that they treat us well and that my girls love them so much, but I feel like I'm losing my place as the parent. How to I regain that place without being disrespectful or hurting their feelings?

 
nicolemstacy

Asked by nicolemstacy at 1:09 AM on Jul. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,807 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • You are living in their household, a place where they are in charge and where they do things their way. It's not a matter of loving them, which I can see that you do - it's a matter of is it the best situation to be living in, and by your description it's absolutely not.

    You're right, you're losing your place as a parent. I don't see that you will get it back while living in their home. In that setting, they are the "parent", they are the authority figure - and it's unlikely that they'll be changing the way they do things.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 10:19 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I had the same situation when I moved in w/ my mom. I had to move out because it just got to be to much. Maybe if you come to them with your concerns it might help.... it didn't help me of corse. Maybe it wil help you though
    CarlyCo

    Answer by CarlyCo at 1:12 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Just tell them what you just told us. They probably don't know what they are doing or how you feel. It will be better for everyone if it's all out in the open. Just make sure to have the talk when everyone is calm. Also, tell the kids that they aren't to run to the grand parents if you say something that they don't like.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 1:17 AM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I tell my dd that on a daily basis. I bring up about how they are spoiled and my FIL jokingly says he thinks I'm pinching the 13 month old because of how she acts with me. He gets onto my MIL about how she spoils the 4 yr old, but things are only changing for the worst.
    nicolemstacy

    Comment by nicolemstacy (original poster) at 1:22 AM on Jul. 18, 2010