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two best friends in my bed???

My husband has a fantasy about me being with another woman. I don't like this. Last night he wanted a name to go with the fantasy. He asked if we could pretend it was one of my best friends. I was hurt. I was just wondering does anyone elses husband have this fantasy. How do you feel about it and what do you do??

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Oct. 1, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • Wow... This is something I'm sure guys think about, but us wives don't really need to know the details. My feelings would definitely be hurt too if I were you! It's one thing for your husband to think 2 girls together is hot, but putting a name and face of someone you know along with it, is a bit too much. I would definitely tell him that you aren't really into that and don't feel comfortable talking about your friends that way. Hopefully he would understand. Then you can talk about any other fantasies he may have (that do not involve your friends). Maybe he's been thinking about something that you would want to try... you never know until you ask. If the whole fantasy thing just creeps you out and you have no interest in participating, I would just look for other ways to spice things up for the two of you.

    Answer by Annie_78 at 3:13 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • I'm willing to bet 95% of heterosexual men fantasize about two women at once. As long as he wants to play around...then let him...but I'd draw the line with seriously considering it. I would however rather my husband imagine the third was someone not in our everyday life, or really attainable. If he wants to imagine it's us and Angelina Jolie, then that's fine, but not my BFF.

    Answer by Iheartsushi at 3:14 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • A mature man knows how to control his thought life. Boys will be boys but men should be men. I'm sure that almost all men at one time or another have fantasized about that but they should let go of it so they can live in reality. I would be hurt about the whole situation.

    Answer by missamerica1 at 3:19 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • The whole fantasy with him started when I was in my early 20's My best friend and I were drunk and were dared to kiss at a party. We did it no big deal. I do not not have a bisexual bone in my body. I was never really comfortable with the fantasy. I play along from time to time to make him happy. Over time the same fantasy has come up so much that it has turned into a turn off. When he wanted to put a face of someone we know to it I almost felt like I got punched in the stomach. It feels like an emotional affair to me. I don't want him to be doing that and I surely don't want to do it. I don't want to think about my BFF having sex with me. I know this is not the case but, I can't keep my mind from going to that place where I question if he wants to be with them. It is funny a long time ago he said he liked this fantasy cause he thought I would like it cause, of that stupid kiss. This fantasy is not for me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • OH HEEEELLLLLLLL NO! I would never go along with that at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • wow, sounds like a normal guy. it's a lot of fun you guys should try it!

    Answer by dmjuicy at 3:37 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • For me it would have to be someone I didnt know. I have the fantacy of being with another girl and my husband likes the idea too but he said he wouldnt do her he would just watch then have sex with me which I am totally cool with. But saying with your BFF is a totally different story.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • basically it sounds to me like he wants to cheat with you friend but wants to alleviate his guilt by involving you. I personally don't believe in three people sharing the same bed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • sorry but i am going to be blunt about this, if your hubby is thinking of your friend and he already pout the name and face then you already know he likes your friend and he thinks she is hot, i would just tell him that you aren't ready and how you feel about it when he thinks your friend, and when he makes a come back say i want to use this friend then his mind will wonder and he will let this 3some go and you will know how he will react if u name his friend witch you will see his react with u and 2 guys but its just a flip to make him see how you felt doesn't mean you have to do it..

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • First of all, my dh would never in his right mind tell me no mess like that. He can think and fantasize about it alllll he wants to but do not say that to me!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

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