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2 Bumps

Why can't i just parent!!!

I get home yesterday, shower and when i get out my DD is being dropped off by my SIL, who is sitting on the couch complaining about what a brat m,y child was being, i call my DD over, to reprimand her, and my SIL goes "Don't call her over there and coddle her" WTF she didn't know what i was going to say, my DD had been gone all FRi and overnight to Sat evening so i missed her but i wasnt going to baby her, if she was being bad. Then this morning, my Fiance says something of the same when i was about to give her a time out for something or another! Why can't i just be the type of parent i want to be? I'm just so mad because they make me feel like an incompetent parent! This is more a rant because im angry than a question, but any advice would be appreciated, on how to deal with these people.

Answer Question

Asked by smilelovesmile at 1:45 PM on Jul. 18, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 11 (526 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • That is your child you are the parent do whatever you have to and who cares what they think. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:55 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I would suggest highly that you set these people straight before anything else If you are going to marry this man and you both do not see eye to eye on discipline, this could be a major issue. This is your child. She should be disciplined as you see fit. I watched Super Nanny recently, and she said that the discipline you chose should be carried over to others' homes as well. So if you want to discipline one way, your SIL and your fiancee should respect and obey your rules.

    This is your child, your responsibility, she depends on you and your choices, not your SIL and not your fiancee.

    Hope this helps.

    Answer by m-avi at 1:57 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Totally agree with pinkdragon.

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 1:57 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Sounds like she is too young for overnight visits. Of course she is misbehaving. She misses you! I wouldn't have SIL watch her anymore if she calls her a brat.

    Answer by mompam at 1:58 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Totally agree with these posts. Talk to your SO and SIL. They should be carrying out your discipline routine whether it is time out, withholding child's favorite thing, etc. Consistency is crucial. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 2:00 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I would firmly remind them that you're the mother and that you don't want their advice, if it's only going to be negative. She's your child, and it's up to you to do what's best for her. Don't let anyone stand in the way of how you want to parent. Not to mention, you posted this in the toddler section, and if she's a toddler, she's too young to be a "brat" It sounds like your SIL doesn't know very much about young children!

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 2:02 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Thank you all so much! I know i need to say something, especially about the brat thing, i do with my Fiance, but with his sister, i just feel bad for her and know she doesn't understand and may never since she is unable to have children due to her disease. I know she loves my DD with all her heart, she just doesn't have that mothering thing. She is one of my best friends and was in the room when i had my C-section, i just dont know how to tell her to stop. To tell her that i am the mother and she is just an Aunt, my sisters and brothers who have kids 'mother' my DD but they have kids so their words are the words of parents, and she thinks its okay to call her a brat and a bad child, i mean i sometimes call my daughter a little Monster, but lovingly and never upset, and never in front of her, because i do not want her to hear something like that, even if i do mean it in the best way possible. Thank you all again for you advice

    Comment by smilelovesmile (original poster) at 4:32 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • My mother does the same thing!! No matter what i do its never right. Ever...I have had to stand up and say, because im his mom a couple times and shes doing better about leaving me alone. And the things shes always after me for is stuff like, him not getting sweets and she wants to give them to him. Stuff thats not even a question of bad parenting on my part..lol..It sounds to me like the same thing for you. You are obviously doing whats right and they are picking at you. Just tell em to stuff it :)

    Answer by carsonsmommytam at 6:01 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Don't stand for it. Say outright "This is the way I parent MY child and if it isn't accepted by the masses then that's too bad. I don't parent your parenting, I don't undermine your authority, I let you do what you feel is best with your child. The least that I can ask is that you let me do the same with mine." If they continue just ignore them and do what you know is right for your child.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:13 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

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