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Does your SO treat your children like his own?

I have 2 boys that are not my husband's and I've noticed over the last year that he doesnt treat them like he would his own. He rarely goes to any of their sporting or school events, doesnt play with them, spends most of his time disciplining them, etc. When we're having problems (ie fighting) it is usually worse. Does your SO treat your children like his own, does he go to their events, etc?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Oct. 1, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • Who do you care more about the kids or an ass like your husband??????????????

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Okay let me first state, he's not mean to them. Due to his work schedule he's hardly awake most of the time when we're home. It's a lot easier to say for me to leave him then it is to do it. Without his income there is no way I could afford to pay all my bills and rent. I am trying to get all my credit cards paid off so that I can have the choice to leave but even without those bills I'm still about $500/month shy. And I do care about my kids more, I give them more attention now then they ever had so that I can make up for what he doesnt give them. But like I said before, he's not mean to them, he's just not a dad to them like he said he'd be.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • He treats my daughter the same as his son for the most part. I feel like his sone doesnt get punished enough but will punish my daughter for something that his son does all of the time. (my daughter is pretty respectful for a 3 YO but his son (also 3) tells adults "no" a lot or says "I dont want to." My daughter knows better not to do that. Hubby just tells him "oh well its okay." or justifies his out of control behavior by saying "well he is just tired." Or "it was a rough day for him." That is the only issue I have is with the no's and I dont want to's. I have tried explaining to him that his son is walking on him and that when you tell him to do something theres no exception to it. You make him wheather he wants to or not. when you tell him to do it, it is not a choice he gets to make! But he is active in taking both of them to the park and entertaining them both equally.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • They're not his kids honey. I think there's gonna be a difference in how he treats them because there is a difference. Long as he's not mistreating them then it should be fine. Don't get mad at him for not doing what thier DAD should have done or should be doing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • My boyfriend treats my son as his own. He has raised him since he was 4months old so he is the only dad my son has ever known. We also have a child together now and I see no difference in how he interacts with either of them
    Dabugg698

    Answer by Dabugg698 at 3:39 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • My biggest thing is will he act this way to the baby we're going to be having (due Feb) or will he treat the baby different. And if he does that how will it effect my children? I cant' imagine growing up and watching your stepdad be involved with your little brother's life but not yours. My youngest has attachment issues as it is for his father abandoning him. My oldest son's father doesnt have the ability to be actively involved in his life (military) but when he's home visiting he does his best.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Well, they AREN"T his kids. As long as he treats them respectfully and does not mistreat them..that is pretty good.
    mybabygirlz

    Answer by mybabygirlz at 4:01 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • My husband has been raising my oldest son since my son was 2 1/2 years old. It is now 14 years later and my husband and I have 2 other boys together and my husband has NEVER treated my son any different than his own. These are OUR children!

    It's tough bringing in "mine" and "yours" into a marriage and I think boundaries should be set BEFORE getting married. I don't believe in "mine" and "yours". I believe in "OURS". The children should be told "we are a family, we live as a family and everyone gets disciplined/treated the same".

    BEFORE my husband and I got serious, I told him from the start, I had a son and if he wanted to get serious with me, then he had to get serious with my son. That meant he will have to love and treat my son like his own child. If not, then hit the road. 14 years later and NO problems with the children.

    Good luck to you and your decision that only you and your husband can make.
    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 4:14 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • I'm married second time.He treats his daughter like she is an angel who can do no wrong.No child is that perfect.He treats my grown kids nice.but not in a fatherly way.He goes to their stuff sometimes.But I pass on my step daughter's occasions sometimes.I don't want to deal with her momma.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 4:19 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • We discussed it prior to marriage and he was all like... yeah I want to be there for you and them. They are our kids. Now it's the complete opposite. If I have to run to the store he makes me take them because he doesnt want to "babysit" my kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

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