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3 Bumps


Long complicated jerry springer like story. My lil sister I love her to death. She is in a VERY abusive situation. She is constantly abused and her 3 year olds sees it all the time. The last time she got her front teeth knocked out. I have done everything in my power to help her and to try to get her to leave including having her in my home until she runs back to him. I know how hard it is for women in these situations so I am not bashing. She is with him again and wants to have a baby! She wanted my opinion and I told her the truth about how I felt. No! She is very jealous of me. She wants a baby to love and fill a gap but will be bringing it into this situation. My hubby and I want to start TTC but I know when she finds out we are preggo she will go ballastic because I told her she shouldn't. Should we delay TTC?


Asked by maggiebella25 at 4:23 PM on Jul. 18, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 16 (2,868 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • No, you should not wait.

    But what you should do are two things: call a domestic violence hotline yourself to get advice on what to do for your sister. And the next time your sister has any marks on her from her husband, call child protective services. I believe that most states now call it child abuse if a child witnesses domestic violence. It will make everyone mad at you, but you may be saving their lives. Violence often escalates and especially if the woman is pregnant.

    Answer by kjrn79 at 4:31 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • No...your life is your life and you should continue on with it reguardless. You only told her that because her situation is abusive.....

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 4:26 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • She should understand that you and your husband are in a LOVING and HEALTHY relationship that a baby should be brought into. She on the other hand, needs to get help and stop putting herself and her child through the abuse. What if she gets pregnant and he beats her and she loses the baby anyway? I think that would be more devastating than not getting pregnant at all. Why isn't this guy in jail?

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 4:29 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I wouldn't delay TTC because of your sister. She asked your opinion and you gave it to her. She is in a far different situation than you are in and if she gets mad, I would just remind her of that. Good luck!

    Answer by MPWifeJessicia at 4:35 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • little sister needs to grow up. she has a baby she can't really protect from a crap home life...she has a baby and will have to educate that little boy for many years to come and to resocialize him.

    Once kids are in real school, the parenting job gets grown up. Lots more eyes on things and kids are in social services if shit goes down. Are you ready to take her kids in if she gets charged with failure to protect?

    Really, have your healthy life, save the baby clothes and help sister get into a class this 5 years she could be in a whole other place in her life with an 8 year old to help her!

    Answer by surfcitymom at 4:37 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I agree, call CPS. Your nephew should not being suffering because your sister refuses to protect herself.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 4:39 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I wouldn't delay but I would also call the cops the next time you hear your sister being abused. You can call if the person won't call. That's if you haven't already. But it sounds like you might have already. Sorry to hear this is going on.

    Answer by kuriequinn at 4:28 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • That's a hard situation. If you call CPS she WILL get her kids taken away and may end up hating you. Also, she WILL have another baby and bring it into this situation. You need to get her out of the situation, even if it means holding her hostage.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:46 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I have called the cops and tried everything. She refuses to leave him or press charges. :(

    Comment by maggiebella25 (original poster) at 4:30 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • So when her teeth got knocked in/. out what I don't know wasn't there, is their some way to counter act this abuse with retro help for the pain and suffering, like can't she sue him in court for that, pain and suffering is paid to her by the bills and the length of time and suffering she had to recuperate. Just that after she collects she should keep in contact with the lawyer and have him pressed chg and thrown out I don't care if it's his place or not, he was doing bodily harm and that is considered battering. not to mention personal injury and bodily harm. (for the record and for the proof for police records, health records, ) she must have health records....

    Answer by coffeeyum at 4:57 PM on Jul. 18, 2010