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2 Bumps

Do you think this is unfair?

I have 3 boys: 6, 3 and 18 months old. I was raised with lots of rules and responsibility, my husband grew up running the streets. My 6-year-old gets an allowance every week, half of which goes into a savings account. He has chores and has to earn it. I have made it his job to make his and his brother's bed (they share a room) every morning, put his (and any other) clothes left in his bathroom in the hamper every night, and clean up ALL the toys daily.

My husband says it's unfair to force him to make his brother's bed (a 3-year-old can't make a bed) and make him clean up everyone's toys (even when the babies wreck the big boy room) because they ALL made the mess.

I think he's old enough to have chores and if he likes earning an allowance it doesn't matter who made the mess it's his chore. (my son is not complaining, my husband is.) And when the little guys get bigger then yes, I will make them help.
What's your take?

Answer Question

Asked by Slinkee at 5:29 PM on Jul. 18, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • I think it's fair and as soon as your 3 yr old is old n=enough he'll do the same. I think the 3yr old is old enough to help pick up toys though

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:30 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Sounds reasonable to me.

    Answer by RoostersMom4 at 5:31 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I do encourage the 3-year-old to help as much as possible, but if he comes and goes during the clean up I don't force he issue. I leave the burden on my oldest son.

    Comment by Slinkee (original poster) at 5:32 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • im sorry but a 3 year old can pick up his own mess, my daughter is 2.3 and my son is 4 and they both pick up their own room or help each other.

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 5:33 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Its not like your asking him to clean dog doo or hand wash dishes. 6 year olds are capable of all of these things and he is EARNING something out of it. Its not being given to him and he is not expected to do all of these things for nothing. I think its responsible of you.

    Answer by ABusyBee at 5:33 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • good for you, teaching them to clean up early is great and teaches them that mommy and daddy won't/can't do everything for them espeically if its just picking up toys

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:34 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Yes, I think you are being completely unfair. There is NO reason that if everyone makes the mess they can't all pick it up. As for his brothers bed, he's not his parent, he shouldn't have to clean up after his brothers mess. Why doesn't your 3 yo have any chores? Mine sure do... I can understand the 18mo old not having chores, but if you're going to have chores for the 6yo and then expect him to clean up after his brothers - who are not his children - then his brother should at least have something... As for the allowance, what's the point of an allowance at all if he can only keep half of it? Really, he's only getting half of an allowance. I understand the idea of wanting him to learn to save, but making him work for his money and then not letting him keep it isn't right either...

    So yeah, anyways, I agree 100% with your husband, you're being unfair and to strict!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:34 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • my three year old makes her bed, i have to redo it a bit but its the act that 5 YO has the same kind of chores. i always tell her being the oldest comes with alot.

    Answer by youlookin4me at 5:35 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I agree with Sabrina!

    Answer by older at 5:36 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • My knee-jerk reaction is that I think it's unfair for the 6 year old to carry the weight for the other two kids, and that you should be responsible for picking up the slack of the other two.

    However I only have 1 child so i kind of live in a different world. I think most moms do a pretty good job of managing thier families, developing a routine, and that kind of stuff. Moms also know thier kids pretty well so i'd say if you think he can handle it, he probably can.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 5:44 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

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