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3 Bumps

How do I not give in?

My childs father and I just broke up (well its been bad for a year or so now) He treats me bad drinks till he don't remember things stays out for nights at a time lost his job b/c he was drinking on the job I finally kicked him out he don't drive due to an DUI so his dad brought him over today to see his child then he asked me to go out to eat with them its sooo hard for me to say no (but i did tonight) I can hardly make it right now and going out to eat would be SOOOO nice. How can I hold it together and keep him out this time and not let him back in my life? (we were together for 10 years and i gave him chance after chance of him saying this is the last time i will never treat you like that again and he does)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Jul. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • close your eyes and remember why you made him leave
    not just remember but feel the hurt
    sometimes, hell most of the time, when we break off a relationship, we remember the good more than the bad
    remember, you are smart, you did the right thing and you gave him plenty of chances

    people come in to our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime

    he is NOT your lifetime

    no guilt on your part

    does not mean you two can not be nice to each other, you share a child, but learn from his mistakes by not excepting this in your life
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 7:30 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I think you have already started the process of letting him go by saying no to his invitation. Good for you - just be strong and remind yourself that he is not the type of man you or your child need in your lives. You both deserve better!
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 7:29 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Its nice but the second you take the meal the whole thing of them trying to get him back in the house you just have to say no it would be nice but not if they are trying to manipulate you into letting him back in. Sorry its so hard that I know a thing or two about and its not easy. ((((HUGS)))) GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:30 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Honey, I know what you are talking about. It will take time and patience especially that your child father.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 7:29 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Stick to your guns. Maybe you could have grandpa pick up your child and not bring dad.
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 7:30 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Just keep rereading this post. Sounds like you're better off without him.
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 7:30 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • You are doing just fine, girl ..... it is going to be hard after so long, but you have already taken the first steps : separated from him and said NO when tempted - good for you!!!!!!!

    It will get easier w/ time, suround you w/ friends and family that REALLY loves you, and draw on them.
    Talk to them, find out who you can call in the middle of the night when the doubts come calling and you start questioning your decision .

    IT WILL GET EASIER!!!
    Nynne

    Answer by Nynne at 7:46 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Do you know how to just be friends with him? It doesn't have to be all or nothing. He is the father of your child, and it would be really nice if the two of you could be friends. Tonight seems like it would have been a perfectly safe time to have had dinner with him and his dad. Maybe you can help him as his friend. That happens sometimes. Women who are not physically involved with men can be very positive influences in helping them to overcome all kinds of things. Surely this man is worth that kind of investment, since you thought him worthy of being the father of your child.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:01 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Just don't let him back into your life. You're making a mistake by going out to dinner with him, because you're setting yourself up to give in. You know you want to, you know you will, but you're going with the "Hope not" mentality. Don't go out to dinner with him, don't talk to him unless it has to do with your child. You know he's bad for you, so accept that and make the right choice to not be involved with him. If you continue to give in you'll never have the strength to walk away. So walk away now before you get caught up. It's a choice. Make that choice.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:22 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Eventually you may be able to be just friends and that would be nice since you do share a child and dinner would be fine then, but right now it sounds like everything is way to fresh in your mind to try that and it sounds like he may be trying to get back with you so saying NO was a very good idea. Maybe talk with him about just having his dad pick up the child and taking her to him instead of seeing him all the time for a while.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 8:36 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

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