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what to do...

really want to stay and work it out with my husband, BUT i want counsling, and he says no. we have two babies together and it breaks my heart to think they will have to go through this. we fight almost non stop for a few days then we are ok for a day or two. i am SICK ofm this cycle!!! we have this long draining talk about stuff and it never really changes. i CAN NOT go through this anymore! tonight i told him that i dont want to leave him, but we need to change. BOTH of us!! so i said it has to be counsling or divorce. he told me no way is he doing counsling, so go ahead and do what i have to do. i am really torn apart inside. is it ever a good idea to stay together for the kids?? if we didnt have kids, i am positive we would no longer be together. HELP PLEASE!! no bashing please, i just want your thoughts and advice. i am a little emmbarrased to talk to my friends about this. thank you in advance!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Jul. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • even if you are the only one who goes to counceling it still might help. you can learn new ways to communicate with him better if nothing else. and by leading by example MAYBE he will see the good in what you are doing and how its helping the relationship. at the very least it gives you an outlet to let some stress out about him.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:55 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • hugsI wish I had some kind of great advice to give you. There is never a right or wrong answer when it comes to someone elses relationships.I can relate to your pain. I've been through hell and back with my ex husband..and although it has been several years now, when I read stuff like this it brings back that painful memories like it was yesturday. Remembering back then, I got to the point where I wouldnt talk to anyone about anything..I felt embarressed..like you. But I had one friend that encouraged me to talk and she just listened. That helped me more than anything.Hearing the words from my own mouth helped me to put things into perspective.I didnt need anyone elses answers..I just needed to find it on my own.Good Luck.

    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:57 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Sorry to say but if he doesn't want to try every option to make it work I would leave. Staying for the kids will only get you so far.
    MsHouseWife

    Answer by MsHouseWife at 8:57 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • if he isnt willing to go to counceling to work at your marraige then he isnt worth your time hun. i know you situation because I was there...twice .. and the fighting isnt healthy for your children anyways. everyone alwasy says you need to stay in your relationship with your kids father for the sake of the child....but why keep your child in a negative unhealthy enviroment? you need to be happy to make your kids happy. if being apart from him will do that then go ahead and do it, just dont keep the kids from seeing their father then things should be ok.
    Kayge

    Answer by Kayge at 9:00 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • It is NOT a good idea to stay together for the kids. As a kid of parents who imo waited TOO LONG to divorce, TRUST ME on this one. I am sorry to say, but it seems as though your DH is NOT interested in working anything out. If BOTH parties are not willing to try, I don't see how a marriage can work.

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 9:34 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

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