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How do you step back from your 17 yr old daughter's relationship with her boyfriend?

My dd has been going out for 2 yrs with her bf. He grad last June and she is a senior.. He works full time, and has thought about attending the comm. college in our town in the criminal justice dept. He told my daughter that he might "give it a try " next semester. Well he has always loved playing football, but have had a couple of concussions, so college football was out for him. Today she tells me that he wants to go next semester to this private college about 1 hour and 20 minutes away. He is all excited, and she said that at least he is doing something. But the only reason he is even going is to play football. He has never been that great of student either. He broke up with her last Jan. because he was thinking of going away to college and playing football. I feel like I want to say something to her and am agonizing over this. I just think that if he is going away next Jan. they may as well end their relationship now.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Oct. 1, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • Mom..take it from one who has been there and should have stepped back. Just be there for her. Bite your tongue and say nothing. When it falls apart be there to pick up the pieces. Even then...never talk trash about him. Be positive about her future. Good Luck

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:19 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • You can always offer advice but I remember how I was at 17 and NO ONE could tell me a thing. If you give the best advice you can and then leave it at that I think thats the best. Let her make her own decisions and no matter what, one day she WILL look back and realize you knew what you were talking about. I did and I tell my Dad every day how much I wish I had listened to him.

    Answer by HayleyGM at 4:21 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Not for you to decide. Just be there if things start to crumble

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 5:32 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • their relationship and how long it lasts is out of your control and none of your business. At that age just support her and be there for her. Show her by example and your actions and perhaps tell her stories of when you were 17 or when you were hurt by love. She will make her own decisions, just be thankful she's not packing up to go with him. Their relationship with either make or break and you personally can't change that in the big scheme of things.


    Answer by massagegiftmom at 5:33 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • If you want to talk to her I say go ahead and talk to her about it but I dont think it matters if they end it now or then. And I dont think she will really care about your opinion in the matter(not to be rude, lol). She will just have to figure this out on her own...Good Luck!

    Answer by Tiger_Tatted at 8:30 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Stay out of it ! It will happen on it's own...when he goes away, maybe???? Maybe your daughter will make the decision to end it on her own! Then you can't be blamed for sticking your nose in the your daughter of course!

    Answer by GSPOTmom at 9:05 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Back off. Who cares if he's only going to that college because he wants to play football. The kids 18 years old.

    Answer by onethentwins at 9:48 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

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