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how can i still love him even after he cheated?

he cheated and i can admit that i didnt help the situation, and he takes full responsibility and wants to do whatever it takes to work it out, although i dont know what that means yet. but i just love him so much and hes such a great dad, although he let the pressure of his single friends get to him. and i dont want to keep our household divided any longer, i really want to try to work through this if he is serious about it. but i have no idea where to go from here. im soo angry, we have been living in seperate houses for 4 days and our kids are missing their time with both of us. i just dont know how to look him in the eyes or be initmate with him without thinking of his affair with someone else. i cant try to kiss him without thinking if he did the same to her. but at the same time i just want to grab him and melt into him! what should my next step be in trying to get past this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Jul. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • It will take time. Grief takes time. Grieving over what you had (or thought you had) is hard but take some time to do that then start building things from there when you are ready. Keep in mind that every time you think of her you are giving HER power and control over you and your life. Do you really want that? I doubt it. Once you get past the feeling of betrayal, you can work this out but don't let her be in control anymore. Start from the beginning and rebuild what was torn down in the event then don't look back.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:16 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • first off, dont make excuses for him blaming single friends, yourself, etc. dont do that to yourself or him. he made his choice on his own. and has to face the full consequnces emotionally of that choice. and of course you still love him, he is still HIM even though he made a HUGE freaking mistake. honestly this is going to be hard for you both. he needs to be patient while you work through your giref and anger. you need to realize that just because he did this doesnt mean everything he does is now suspect. trust is hard to earn back once its broken. baby steps. allow yourself to slowly let him rebuild trust with you. i woudl even suggest couples therapy to be the most healthy way to get through this. he needs to realize all the reasons why he chose to do what he did. no excuses, no blaming others etc. but what was going on in HIM that he felt he needed to do this.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:37 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • counseling
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 9:34 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Once a cheater always a cheater you are bigger then i am i have 23 years and counting in my marriage if my hubbie ever cheat on me i love him enough to let him go..That is the deal breaker of our marriage there is no coming back after that.
    MTM

    Answer by MTM at 9:40 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • ima qoiinqq to be straight up.dont what he did to you.you get to see how he felt ,you get to make him feel the same you felt.!
    but this only works if you want to do it. tell him you cheated maybe a week or 2 after you do it and if you dont feel right and you still want to be with your baby father explain to him you were angry to wrongs dont make a right but you couldnt even look at him anymore.And once you realize your husband or w.e is wat you want you can say the other man wasnt nothinqq compared to him.but after cheatinqq you like it that mean ur relationship is over.theres nomore feelinqs. ITS JUST MY ADVICE YOU CAN CONSIDER IT BUT YOU DONT HAVE TO TAKE IT
    Soon2bemom16

    Answer by Soon2bemom16 at 9:43 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • p.s. I beg to differ with those who believe that once a cheater, always a cheater. Studies have shown that if a man cheats and is remorseful he'll never cheat again and the marriage can be stronger than ever in time.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:17 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

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