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2 Bumps

10 weeks postpartum and still scared to have sex? adult content

i kind of had this problem with my first son but i think it's worse this time. i only had minor tearing w/ my first but this time i had a 2nd degree tear and i was freaking out a lot because my son was preemie and i was scared and the doctor made a comment like he couldn't stitch me up as well as he would like because of all my screaming and cringing. :(

i have been to my midwife for my 6 week appointment and then everything was feeling fine although she did comment that my vagina was kind of "gapey" and i should do kegels. :P

since then i have been feeling twangs of pain sometimes, but faint enough that i can't tell if i'm imagining it or not. anyway my husband and i have still not had sex. i'm tired, i don't feel sexy, don't have a sex drive, and i'm scared it will hurt, or split open.

thanks for any supportive comments.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Jul. 18, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • You will never know if it will hurt or not. I would talk to your husband beforehand to let him know what you are feeling and that maybe one night you could get a sitter and spend a night reconnecting with your husband. I have a nasty tear with my son as well and that fear is normal. The first time we tried after having my son I was 8 weeks postpartum and I told him that if it hurt we had to stop when I said and everything went fine, but it was nice to know my husband understood. Make sure you are completely relaxed and hopefully everything will go well.

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 10:04 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • bump

    Answer by TeamBecker at 9:58 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • It took me about 10 weeks to feel up it. I had 12 stitches from my 7lbs son.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 10:00 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Ease into it. I'm still too afraid for full on sex, but there is other are plenty of other physical things you can do together. And lubrication can really help.

    Answer by ecodani at 12:54 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • 10 weeks is nothing. I waited until 4 mos post partum with my first I was so afraid! Just wait until you feel ready, and as others have said, take it easy and slow.

    Answer by Krysta622 at 12:33 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

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