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Son doesn't listen

Any ideas on how to get my son to listen to me? When he is doing something against the rules I will tell him not to do it and why and he will say "Okay mom I won't" and the minute I turn my back he is right back at it. When he doesn't listen he will lose a privilege, like if we are outside and he won't listen we warn him to stop and tell him if he doesn't start listening we are going in the house. Next time he doesn't listen we take him in the house. This is normally in reference to keeping his clothing on, we live in the city and don't have privacy fencing.

 
amandajoy21

Asked by amandajoy21 at 10:29 PM on Jul. 18, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 20 (9,553 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • your son is a toddler moving out to testing his limits and pushing buttons to see what happens. pretty normal at this age. there are NO quick fixes here. only consistancy in handling each issue as it occurs. do you do anything once you take him in the house or what not? corner time? etc?
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 10:33 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I sometimes will make my son repeat my instructions back to me on his own, so that I know he heard and understood me, and if he disobeys after that he knows he's in trouble. I also sometimes will speak really softly because he has to slow down and be quiet to hear me and it often helps. I usually just tell my 3 yr old not to do something and I'll just make it very clear to him that he is not to do that again and I'll tell him what's going to happen if he does, then if he chooses to do it even after that, then he usually gets a spanking, I sit him on my lap and I tell him what he did wrong and ask him why he did it, and tell him how it makes his parents sad and Jesus sad when he directly disobeys Mommy and Daddy, and I tell him he's going to get 2 swats on the butt, and that's what he gets- 2 controlled calm swats to the butt, then I tell him I love him too much to allow him to disobey, and we have a hug and playtime again.
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 10:47 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • Normally we will talk about why he was brought in the house and if it is for something else I will remove him from the situation and let him think for a few minutes somewhere boring before I talk to him about why he isn't allowed to do it. Normally I get the "Okay mom I will listen better next time and not do that", but he always does it again.
    amandajoy21

    Comment by amandajoy21 (original poster) at 10:37 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • If he likes being outside, and of course I bet you like him being able to get fresh air and exercise, maybe having him come in the house in a non fun spot (like on the couch or on a stool in the kitchen with nothing really fun to look at or touch) for time out. Tell him stay there until you are ready to keep your clothes on./ If you want to take them off, go into the bathroom. When you're ready to play dressed properly, you can go outside.

    I let my son play without his shirt if he wants.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 11:25 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • PS my kids are 4 & 5 and they do the same things a lot of times, and I find consistency...is the only thing I can rely on... I sometimes wonder if they will ever listen! only to hear their church teachers telling me things they said that I know I've told them (they WERE listening!)
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 11:26 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I have the same issue with my 2 year old. So I know how you feel. I think it's just a toddler thing. They like testing you and seeing how far they can push you.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:10 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • got the book 1-2-3 magic it works wonders because as you are counting him down you are also reminding him of the behavior you wabt stopped and what will happen if he does not stop
    G/L
    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 9:45 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Consistency and he is at an age now where he can understand Natural consequences.

    My son was mean tonight and agressively threw a plastic cup, I put him in bed, and told him no books or songs tonight which he loves doing and told him because he was mean these are his consequences. Right now he is crying and calling for me... But If I give in then he will that if crys long and hard over it he can still act that way get disciplined and then still get me by the end of the night..

    UAFwife

    Answer by UAFwife at 11:51 PM on Jul. 19, 2010