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I am a muslim woman and need to know more information about divorce in islam

I married a muslim brother in 2004 and we have been divorced twice. The second reconcilation in which he came back home was many months after we split. We stopped being intimate for about 1 month after he divorced me, we have two children together so we saw each other on the regular basis. After about a year we decided we would try to make it work again and he came back home he assummed we were still married since we never stopped having sex. maybe 6 months after we reunited we separated again. We reconciled again after a week, he didnt move back in but for a year we were still having intercource. We dicided again, to remarry, we had a ceromony this time and he came back home. Recently, after three months we got into a similar argument as the previous times, and he has again asked for a divorce. Is he supposed to remain in the home for the 3 months or is the marriage inreconcilable in the eyes of Allah. We are still in love.

Answer Question
 
ummilatifah

Asked by ummilatifah at 11:07 PM on Jul. 18, 2010 in Religious Debate

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Sorry, I'm confused. How do you get divorced twice and now want a third? And why would he need to remain in the home for 3 months to get a divorce? I just don't understand how that works.
    Katt709

    Answer by Katt709 at 11:11 PM on Jul. 18, 2010

  • I honestly don't get how you can both still be in love yet he wants a divorce. I think you need to try counseling/therapy. Divorcing and remarrying is not the answer to whatever issue you are having.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 9:53 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Did you get a legal divorce every time? I think you both need counseling. If counseling doesn't work then get a legal divorce and go your separate ways.

    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:07 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Here is the link to the muslim moms group. Hope they can help you and God bless. http://www.cafemom.com/group/97?ct=search_top
    natural.mama

    Answer by natural.mama at 1:56 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • You need to talk to an Imam/Sheikh at your masjid.
    NoGoodName4Me

    Answer by NoGoodName4Me at 7:35 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Salam Aliko Sister,
    You need to contact the masjid ASAP, if he has said the "I divorce you" 3xs now for the 2nd time you two are divorced permently and to be intimate would be zina. This is a REALLY BIG DEAL sister, contact your masjid, talk to the Imam. The 3 months btw is not just 90 days its 3 FULL menstral cycles and that is the time where he has to finincially provide for you, and after that time you are then able to marry someone else and he is not required to pay your expenses-unless your pregnant and he must until the child is weaned in addition to child support until the child reaches adulthood. At this point Islamically if he has divorced you now twice your divorced he can not be alone with you or intimate with you, you are divorced. Please call the Imam you really really need to.
    NCMommy2be

    Answer by NCMommy2be at 1:57 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • @purpleducky- I said we are still in love because he's gone but I still love him. He is texting me saying "im still in love with you Im sorry". We try to stay away from one another but we have children together. When he visits them leaving me alone is impossible for him.
    @sisternogoodname4me- My father performed the first and second wedding. He is the Iman of our Jamat. Its just hard to keep involving him in our back and forth non-sense without him leaning more towards me being his daughter, although he tries his best. I just want information from another point of view .
    I thought it was after the third marriage the divorce is perminant until I remarry?
    ummilatifah

    Comment by ummilatifah (original poster) at 2:13 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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