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what should you do when your kids get angry with you and use your grankids to hurt you

my son and daugther have children , i love my grand chilren with all my heart however i dont get to see them because every time i have a disagreement with my children they dont allow me to see them and i have tried to reach out in the past to put the past behind us but it never works and i feel it is this way because of my family always getting involved my children have put me threw so much and i just refuse to bend anymore i have to look out for myself and not allow this to make me ill but this hurts me so much i cry all the time they constantly make bad desisions and expect me to agree with it and when i dont iam the mother from hell should i keep trying or stay away?

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lashawn720

Asked by lashawn720 at 4:47 PM on Oct. 1, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • depends on what you did to your kids to make them feel this strongly against you. obviously it is something that they do not want their kids to get caught up in and get hurt like they are. maybe you should take some time to think about it from their point of view. there is a reason why they dont want you around their children. and, just so you know, people make their decisions based on their lives. you may not agree with it or see it their way, but you need to respect them and stay out of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Respect is a two way street. Stay away for now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Love is pretty empty when it is only emotion and there is no action behind it. Tell me how you think a bunch of strangers on the internet can solve your problem when your nineteen yr old daughter is preganant with her second and your son is in jail? What do you seriously think we can do for you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Maybe when they say they are going to do something you don't agree with, just smile and say, "Well I don't agree with your decision, but it's up to you. Do what you think is best." They really can't disagree with that, and maybe they will be more open the next time.
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 1:46 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • I know how you feel. My oldest is that way.I have never see my 2 year on grandson,,probably never will,,she says I'ma terible MOM..I dont even have her phone# or Address
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:43 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • You are going to have to know where you stand, im going to be honest with you, stay out of your childrens business, unless they are harming or neglecting the childre, depending on where you live, you can sue for grandparents rights, TRUST ME I KNOW.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • my sister did that with my mom, and i thought it was wrong. my mom is a very strong willed person and wants us to do what she says, when she says it. she is very protective of all her kids and has never had to "share" us with anyone, we were all adopted and she is a single mother. so she does the same advice thing but has now learned that we are grown up and will make our own decisions, i would never not let her see my son tho. you cant get that time back and grandparents are important. good luck
    bennysmom519

    Answer by bennysmom519 at 5:07 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Sometimes being a mother is learning to let go and love your children no matter what. My biological parents didn't meet me till I was 12, and abused me there after. I wrote them off and the only time they wanted back in my life is when they found out I had children. I won't subject my children to a life I once had to live. Is there something they're unhappy about ...it's a two way street and takes two to tango. I don't let them near my children, or in our lives because I do not want them hurt the way they both hurt me. Could it be something of the sort?
    meitaimom679

    Answer by meitaimom679 at 3:24 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • i think its ridiculous when people use their children against others. what did those poor little ones do to deserve not knowing their grandparents. i think your children really need to grow up but you also have to realize that they are clearly adults and you can no longer tell them what to do. if you are respectful to them they should be to you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Its THEIR choices and decisions to make, not yours. You need to respect that and the boundaries that they set and stop trying to control everything and back off. As soon as you do this and release your control of them, I guarantee they will start letting you be a part of their lives. Remember you are a PART of their lives, you do not RUN their lives.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

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