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throwing in the towel??

my husband has a 9 yo son,, he doesnt know how to be stern with him, doesnt stick to his word,, i have tried numerous things to tell him that i dont approve of HOW he tends to his son or him spending time with him,, ,he relies on his mother to feed him,, an everything else that a daddy should do but doesnt know how,,it irriates the h*** outta me,, its like it goes in one ear an out the other,, his son shows no disipline structure,, as i call it,, i have 2 girls from previous marriage,, my girls DO NOT disrepect me in ANY shape form nor fashion,, should i throw the towel in on my step son???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Jun. 28, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • No, I dont think u should throw the towel in. I think u should talk to him and maybe help him out a little. Show them both that you care, give some advice and support.
    Rage419

    Answer by Rage419 at 9:33 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • Nobody likes to be told they are doing a horrible job with their child. I would see if maybe your husband would be willing to talk to someone who helps families see the error and help them do things differently. (kinda like super nanny). It is hard to see what you are doing wrong, but sometimes when a unbiased person gives their advice it works. No parent is perfect, all we can do is try to learn from our mistakes and be willing to admit when things are not working. I hope everything works out for you. (It could also be that your step-son doesn't like the fact that his dad and mom are no longer together and is trying to split you two up. It has been known to happen)
    Mrs.Chase

    Answer by Mrs.Chase at 10:06 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • I would not throw in the towel, but maybe throw in your mother hood skills, is he a part or full time kid?? And what the hell is he doing relying on his mother to feed his 9 year old son for? does he not eat as a family with you and your two girs?? My husband has a 9 year old son as well, and the fact that he only gets to see him 4 days a month (every other weekend) he does seem to be more lenient towards him, but that is when big mama (ME) steps in and takes the reigns to fairness!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • i think... and i may be wrong... that you should treat him like you treat your daughters. My sister has two devilish sons that dont listen and have never been disciplined... her long term bf has a tween girl that is very respectful and obeys him. SHe is so wonderful. I can tell it bothers him that the 2 boys run wild but he does say anything bc he doesnt think its his place. and i wish that he would. he and my sister arent going to work out bc of their opposing paretning styles... but my sister really wouldnt mind him "stepping up to the plate".
    hendrickson

    Answer by hendrickson at 3:26 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • A 9 year old should know (by now) that the rules are different in different places. You didn't describe the custody arrangement, but I agree w/ the other Mama who said to treat him like you treat your daughters.
    Any time he is with you, he should be held to the same standards as your girls.
    I have a curious question back, is he lax with your girls as well, or is it just due to him not having full custody of his son?
    I don't think a 9 year old should have the "towel thrown in" on him, but at the same time, you cannot reinvent the wheel with him, you can only do so much.
    I hope you and your husband can join forces and help get the 9 year old's behaviour under control.
    DeylansMama

    Answer by DeylansMama at 3:32 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

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