Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i am mormon and my fiance is baptist...what do i do?

Ok i have been in the mormon religion for almost 8 years n my fiance is baptist...we both really dont go to church that much but my church hates the fact that we both have tattoos and are having sex out of wedlock...well i was raped wen i was 15 n that is a sin to them also...my daughter yes is a child out of wedlock but my fiance loves her to death and would do anything for her...my church doesnt like the fact that i have her and told me wen i was pregnant with her to have an abortion...obviously i said no...but my church will not allow her to wear her cross necklace becuz they dont like it but on the other hand my fiances pastor says that my daughter and i can join the church anytime we want...im so confused i keep saying that i want to leave the mormon church and go to a church that is going to accept my daughter and not down grade her becuz she is a child of rape...what do i do...please help me

Answer Question
 
SkiDefjess

Asked by SkiDefjess at 5:04 PM on Oct. 1, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • the bapist wont look down on her and you shouldnt worry so much about it im baptist and my husband is mormon ... im the one making the change for him tho ...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • just love him and be happy with your lives and if people dont like what your doing screw them they dont matter in your relationship
    ReneeLRS

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 5:12 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • First of all, your daughter had no choice in how she was concieved so I don't see how it can possibly be held against her, of you for that matter. The only guilty party in that action is the one who raped you.

    Plz don't subject your innocent child to ANY religion belief or person who makes her think she is less worthy because of her conception

    If you feel more comfortable at your fiance's church then go and enjoy yourself
    wrensong

    Answer by wrensong at 5:27 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • You and your fiance have to decide whether you are equally yoked. I don't know enough about either religion to know what your beliefs are. Being equally yoked means that both of you believe that Jesus is your Lord and Savior and you each have a personal relationship with Him. This is more important than the religious labels of "Mormon" or "baptist". Your daughter may be a child of rape but more importantly she is also a child of God. She is loved unconditionally by Him as are you and your fiance. You all deserve to attend a church that reflects this love. I don't know about your church but at my church if sinners weren't allowed to enter, our church would always be empty. I think every church should have a sign that says, "Sinners welcome, no judgment allowed!" It sounds like you've already searched your heart. Now you need to follow it. If you're looking for confirmation here, it's ok to change churches. Go for it!!

    OldrWizrMom

    Answer by OldrWizrMom at 6:04 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Don't stay someplace where you are not feeling comfortable! You daughter will always be there with you until you no longer can be there. It sounds like you have a man who loves you and your daughter unconditional. Not only does he loves you both unconditional but his extended family is welcoming you with open arms. Regardless of what you call yourself. You are a child of God and will always be a child of God. He doesn't judge! I don't understand why they are being judgmental.
    .
    Godsblessing01

    Answer by Godsblessing01 at 6:23 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Why would you even consider following a church that wanted you to abort your daughter? What kind of a message does that send to HER? I attended a very small school where almost everyone was mormon - I attended sunday school and other activities because it was what all my friends did. But when I was 13 and the elder of the church told me that if I couldn't get my parents to attend church, that they would go to hell because my dad smoked and they both drank coffee. I was SO done. If your BF's church is opening their arms to you, I'd run into them now!
    jjandjsmomma

    Answer by jjandjsmomma at 6:52 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Yeah I would leave your church and either findanother mormon church or go with your husband to his. It does not sound like you are on the right path where you are now. I think God is telling you it's time for a change. Embrace it. Don't allow your daughter or future children to be subjected to that kind of treatment. Especially from someone who is supposed to be a man of God.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 7:16 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Odd. I'm Mormon. The church does not view the victim of rape as having committed a sin. The child is certainly not at fault for how she came into the world - she is viewed as an innocent just like every other child. They don't support abortion or pressure anyone into it - raising your child yourself or adoption are encouraged - not abortion. While the Mormon church celebrates the Resurrection and not the Crucifixion, if you or her want to wear a cross, it's not banned. If you are having these sorts of problems, I wonder about your Bishop's honesty or the integrity of the President of your Stake.
    However, you do need to work out how you will raise your daughter with your future husband and you need to be happy with the church you go to. I truly believe that God doesn't care, that He sees what is in your heart and judges you by that and not by the religious trappings men create. If you will be happier at church, switch.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:15 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Girl, you have got to get out of that church! All of those claiming Christ, that look down their noses at others are missing His message. They asked you to get an abortion?? And you think they're people of God? Pull off the blinders and find a church filled with true Christians. You'll know when you've found the right place.
    brandyj

    Answer by brandyj at 12:47 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Wow, I too am Mormon and am baffled at what you have been told by your leaders! Being raped is NOT looked down on, you are a victim. WHO told you that it was a sin? Abortion is not supported at all in our Church. We are against it! As for you having tattoos......who cares. There are several people in my ward with tattoos. No one makes anything out of it or even cares.

    As the other LDS poster said too, if she wants to wear a cross she can, we just don't usually because it focuses on the death of Christ and not his life. But you are FREE to choose to do what ever you wish.

    I'm honestly so confused at your post and a little angry at your religious leaders for making you feel this way.

    Have you talked to the Stake President about this?
    Nika75

    Answer by Nika75 at 4:06 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN