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I always hear on here that kids require so much attention, that one person can't possibly provide "emotionally" for X amount of children. Do children really just sit around waiting for their turn to sit on mommy's lap? Because if they do, there is something wrong with my kids. Now, don't get me wrong they do require attention but, not as often as some parents are implying they would need. So, explain the attention thing to me. How much time should I tell my children they can't play outside because they should be requiring more attention out of me.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Jul. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I'm like you, my boys can entertain themselves for HOURS--they're 8 and 6! And regardless of the fact that they have special needs, I have taught them that while I'm here for them whenever they need me--night or day, that they cannot demand every waking minute of my time--as I need to get things done around the house, yard, etc.

    Sure, until they began preschool at age 3 1/2, they were obviously more "hands on" but once they started school, they have naturally gravitated away from me--which is norma, yet, given the choice between going to my husband/daddy or me when they are hurt or upset, they always choose me.

    We have our one-on-one quality times--doing homework every night together, completing school projects together, swimming in our pool, family vacations, playing sports together in the back yard--soccer, badminton, volleyball, baseball, etc.

    We only wanted 2 children, so we could get back to "life" faster!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:07 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • When we say attention it means caring for their every need be it emotional or not, quality time with them is important. And that means doing things with them as a family.

    Answer by older at 9:01 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • My mom had 8 kids, she was a single mom for my whole life. She worked. When I say that 8 kids for a single mom doesn't give the mom adequate time to spend with each child... i mean it... and it's personal. I grew up fine, went to college and so forth, but the majority of my siblings are into drugs and some are in jail. Don't take offense when people say that, they are probably speaking of their personal life.
    I'm not putting a number on it, and I'm not saying that working mom's don't spend enough time with their kids, but there is a point at which some people have too many kids to raise.. and my mom was one of them.
    The whole idea that a big family can have the older siblings help with the young works for some families... but not for mine.

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 9:04 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I should also add, that I am the only child of a single mother, and she NEVER spent time with me!! She did everything she could to send me away at every turn--after school sports/groups/activities, summer camp, etc.

    It's no wonder that we have a completely non-existent relationship these days.

    It's the quality, not the quantity of time spent with your children that is most important.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:09 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • No my kids do not just wait for me to give them attention. I have taught them to play independently as well as with others. I play with them & read totheim but I also do things by myself just like they do we do not have to be glued to each other. I think kids who are too needy have insecurity issues, my kids don't have that need to touch me 24/7. I have also never snuck out of the house when I go somewhere from day one when I leave I always said the same thing (basically) "Bye bye mommy is leaving I will be back soon be good have fun !!" I cringe when I see parents sneaking away, I think that makes kids nervous and scared when they are little so what if they cry a bit eventually they will learn that the parents go away but then come back and they will learn to enjoy the time away from mom and dad

    Answer by justgrape723 at 9:08 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • when your kids need attention from you they will seek you out. I do believe in family game night or movie night. And eating dinner at the table

    Answer by justgrape723 at 9:13 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Every child is different. Like another post said, "When your children want your attention they will seek you out." They don't need you to come to them and demand attention from them. Children are no different from adults. When we want attention from a certain person we go and find that person to get that attention. We don't want our turn to 'sit on their lap' (so to speak), because we know that we can go find them to get what we want. Some children do require A LOT of attention, whereas other children require little attention. My son can play all day in his playroom without even so much as coming to find me, then suddenly he wants nothing more then to snuggle. I let him decide when he wants my attention, because I know I wouldn't want someone demanding they give me attention either.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:53 AM on Jul. 19, 2010