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2 Bumps

Would you be mad??

So about 4 days before my great grandma passed away, my DH was on his facebook that he doesnt do on a regular basis, and he got in touch with a girl that he went to high school with. He found out that she was getting divorced and he told her sorry and that one thing he remembers about her is that she had a beautiful smile. Ok well, I am having a hard time with the health of my grandma that he should be there for me, not off telling another girl how beautigul they are. And then he refused to add me as a friend on his facebook, probably because of that. Am I over reacting here or do I have a right to feel this way?? Whats your opinion??

Answer Question
 
chelcityrocks

Asked by chelcityrocks at 9:02 AM on Jul. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (58 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • i think you are very emotional right now and putting way too much in to this comment by him to someone from the past , was it maybe insensative and bad timing on his part? certainly. but i would let it go
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:04 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Your husband won't add you as a friend on facebook?? I would have a big problem with that. He also should not be telling other girls how pretty they are. He is probably just looking for attention since you are preoccupied with your grandmother.
    lil_angel00

    Answer by lil_angel00 at 9:05 AM on Jul. 19, 2010


  • you have all the right to be angry,,, I would if it happened to me,, he shouldnt be flirting with other women on the first place,, well for me this is totally unacceptable especially with you going through this,,!!
    mommy_sam

    Answer by mommy_sam at 9:06 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • And then he refused to add me as a friend on his facebook...........this seems like a problem, a husband should be your best friend, and you his, i would be wary if mine did not have me as his friend, telling an old friend sorry about your breakup and saying something nice about her smile, is not the problem for me, but that he refused to add you---that i would be concerned with
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:06 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I agree with sati. Anger is much easier to deal with than grief. Maybe you want to be mad at him to distract yourself from your grief? However, when things settle down I would talk to him about you being his friend on there. I would probably be upset about that....
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 9:07 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I'm sorry for your loss.

    Just from how you wrote you question, I can tell that part of it is that you're upset about your great grandma passing away and taking it out on other people for totally unrelated issues.

    I'm not saying you're wrong for being sad about grandma or that you are wrong for being upset at him and getting jealous about him telling another girl she had a pretty smile. But like I said, the 2 are unrelated.

    Maybe look into grief counseling.
    And you need to talk to your husband about your insecurities with him talking to other girls.
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 9:07 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • You have every right to be angry, specially now in your time of grieving, he should be more sensitive to your emotions.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:12 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • He should have been there to help you deal with your sad time. If he talked to and flattered the lady instead of helping you, then he was at fault.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:19 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • The fact that he wont add you as a friend on facebook is such a HUGE red flag. There is obviously something he is keeping from you, or at least wants to keep from you.

    Yes, i would be very mad. My DH would never tell a woman she has a beautiful smile, that is flirting...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:21 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I won't let people on my FB that I worry might embarrass me with my high school buddies on there. Maybe he thinks you might say something that will embarrass him. I do think you are over reacting so maybe when things calm down with you he'll let you be his friend on there. Deal with your grief for now. He's not going anywhere by telling some former friend that she had a nice smile.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:25 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

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