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What can I do to help my 9 year old daughter not always be left out?

She has anxiety and is svery quiet and shy unless she knows a person well. She is a little heavy, and not very confident. She is going to a counselor and a trainer (at her request) to help with these issues.

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Asked by estoylista at 8:59 PM on Jun. 28, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (5)
  • Could you throw a slumber party for some of her fellow students at school. She may feel more comfortable getting to know others on her own "turf". Ask her what she thinks about that idea and involve her as much as possible in the planning. Make it fun and exciting. hope she likes the idea.

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 9:22 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • my little girl has a similar problem. we invited friends from school, one at a time, over to play or spend the night. we also constantly tell her how fun she is. and although she isn't a social butterfly she does have a lot of friends. oh, i also told her to make a friend you have to be a friend. and once she makes those friends, and she starts being unconfident, remind her how great her friends are and tell her how if her friends are that great, she must be too.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 11:31 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • Mother/daughter play days are fun, with another Mother/daughter.

    Answer by ToldUNo at 2:56 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • i was like that at her age. i was a little chunky and very shy. but by the time i was 15 i was EXTREEMELY outgoing. i started playoing high school soccer, i became popular, and ran and won student council positions all through HS. I went to college on a scholarship, was a 'hottie', very outgoing still, and became SGA president at my college. I wouldnt worry too much about her. Just support her in thinks she wants to do and let her grow out of it.

    Answer by hendrickson at 3:22 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • What a wonderful opportunity you have to help teach her assertiveness and help build her confidence and self esteem. what is she good at? Academics? Music? Sports? Art? Find her strength and work on promoting that. Then find kids who can appreciate her talents such as those in a similar class or camp or some group. It's easier to build relationships with other kids she has a bond with. Then she can work on building one with kids in the school or around the neighborhood. Tell her I said she Rocks!

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:08 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

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