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Do you think ADD/ADHD is hereditary? Or is my kid just BAD?

My son, who is just over 4, is CRAZY busy, and I put the emphasis on 'crazy' because sometimes crazy is the only word to describe his behavior. He hisses @ everyone, hits some people, constantly cries when he doesn't get his way, says mean things to others. I'm @ a loss because 1, I DO NOT tolerate that behavior in my home, but his dad and I have split custody and his Gma on his dads side is constantly caring for him. She's a total pushover who will do whatever he wants to make him quiet. His dad-well, IDK that he puts up with the behavior, but I also don't know how he disciplines him. I just don't know what to do with him anymore. He hasn't busted me, but I'm not sure how to correct his behavior anymore-time outs do not work with him. About the only thing that works is speaking to him, but most times even then he doesn't listen. His dad has ADHD, not sure if its hereditary, but what do you guys think...ADD or BADASS?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Jul. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • I really think both can factor in.
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 11:45 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Do the best you can to set reasonable limits, be consistent, require appropriate behavior ... even ADHD kids can and do learn to act correctly. It's not a matter of "bad" (kids aren't just born "bad", and yours isn't "bad" either), it's a matter of teaching. Keep doing your very best to teach him what he needs to do - and model it as well!
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 11:47 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • What is he eating? Do you feed him a lot of processed foods? artificial colors & flavors? soda pop? caffeine? HFCS? Excess sugars? Do you notice behavior changes after meals or snacks?
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 11:57 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I would get him evaluated for ADHD and have his medical/behavioral plan written into the custody agreement and that anyone caring for him needs to follow the plan.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 11:57 AM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • ADHD does not exist! You child just doesn't know who the parent is and it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!! NOT NOT NOT your fault at all! In fact i would say more his father's than anyone elses but certainly not yours. Anyway you have to tell you ex that he has to care for his son not his mother! You son is confused and he also knows you will not leave him so add in some testing you limits to it as well. Just talk to him. Everytime he does something shut everything off and sit and talk to him. Easy as pie!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 12:42 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • ADHD is very much genetic.. me and my husband Both have adhd and our 2-1/2 year old son has a 90% chance of having it... I see some signs now already.. watch what he's eating.. I notice my son is CRAZY when he has any type of sugar, but... he does not get nuts from organic sugars so treats for him are all organic.. I try to feed him mostly organic in other area's also because I can see a noticable different even in common foods - I am also calling early intervention to see what our options are because emotionally and behaviorally, he seems to be having major signs of anxiety which we both have also - I don't tolerate that behavior either however, we are all on the same page with max and it tends not to make much of a difference.. he still acts that way and battles are all day long..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:23 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • also, don't listen to people who tell you it doesn't exist.. just because they dont' have it or havent had a child with it, does NOT mean it does not exist.. I do believe doctors are labeling far too many children with it and poorly treating it, however, it IS real.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:25 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • max, 2 drs have said my 2 1/2 has ADHD. I still do not belive it! My DD is hyper yes she's a kid. She has a temper and we're working on it. I will NEVER give my child meds or say there is anything wrong with her other than she is a bratty kid sometimes. ADD and ADHD are NOT real!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 5:28 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • DelilhahsMom... ADHD is a chemical imbalance - just like bipolar, depression... Why else would amphetamine CALM a person? If I (being a normal person with no imbalances) took amphetamine, I would be super hyped up... however, when my son takes Adderall (which, btw is amphetamine) it calms him to the point where he can focus enough to make good decisions. I remember before he got his medication - you could SEE him struggling with himself, TRYING to calm down TRYING to focus - then crying because he felt like a failure.

    Try researching something before you go blaming the parents of these children. Your kid might just be a brat (hey, you said so yourself) but that doesn't mean that it is the same situation with other moms and their children.
    MunchiesMom324

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 11:45 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

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