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please help i cant get over my boyfriends\husband past...we have two kids together and have been together for 2 years...but everytime i think about his past i get depressed like wanting to cut my self or kill myself because of it...i know way too much about it...but i dont know what to do...i have tried to leave but it dosent work...please help...

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jesslovesyou08

Asked by jesslovesyou08 at 5:48 PM on Oct. 1, 2008 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,704 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • What is it in your past that bothers you?
    The past is over, as long as he has been acting right in the 2 years you have been together, then you have nothing to worry about. Dont base your happiness on someone else...
    My husband was not an angel before I met him, but he is a great man and has been a wonderful husband to me for 4 years and is great with our 7 month old. All you can ask for is for that, you cannot change the past.
    isra1986

    Answer by isra1986 at 5:52 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • You have two kids,think about them
    even if you get so hurt your kids need you.
    God bless you,I'll be praying for you.
    SJazmine06

    Answer by SJazmine06 at 5:53 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • you need to look forward no to the past. so what if there were other women in his past he is with you now he has chosen you over them. I suggest you go to counciling and see why does it bother you so much. I have a bit of a wild past but am devoted to my husband. the men in the past or just that the past and I outgrew what attracted me to them I have changed and I am with who I want to be the others are just memories.
    Lyndall

    Answer by Lyndall at 5:55 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • I believe that if you can't over look someone's past you will never be happy. My Husband has a very very very long bad past. But I don't look at that when I look at him. I don't even think about it. When we got married I became a stepmom. So in my opinion if you can't over look the past you will never be happy. If you want to talk or know more just msg me!
    GL
    Shawna
    Babyclark08

    Answer by Babyclark08 at 5:56 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • if you can forgive and forget then your in big trouble cause the lord asks us to do so. would you want him to forgive you? there can't be a double standard.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:02 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • I'm going to be hard on you, just cuz I know how you feel. But you need to stop being stupid. He may have done some things in his past but now he's with YOU. I don't like my hubbys past but I didn't know him then so I shouldn't care. It's not fair to hold it against him or yourself something that can't be changed. I'm sure that if he could he'd change his past but he has to live with it. Men are not good at telling us how they feel and it's quite possible he's as torn up inside about his past as you are. You shouldn't hurt yourself because you feel bad. I really hope you feel better.
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 6:08 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • The past is the past, let it go. He chose you; he chose to drop whatever it was in the past and be with YOU. Accept that he's in your life and that other stuff is long gone and live in the now.
    dsteiner23

    Answer by dsteiner23 at 6:24 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Unless his past literally affects your future, let it go. He obviously wants to be with you despite yours.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Okay Sweetie... Your a mother of two. Why in the world would you think about hurting yourself over a man. I know a man can make you do some crazy things but being a mother myself i couldn't imagine doing such a thing. My boyfriend/father of my children and i have had huge problems i hate his past too. But havent you heard the saying The Past is the Past theres a reason why its not coming back? Its true. Our passes makes us who we are today. As long as he treats you and your children right than just let it go. Whats going to happen is your just going to lose him. Trust me. So just hold on to what you have be strong for your children and love your man for who he is now not for what he was... Hang in there: )
    mommyluv01

    Answer by mommyluv01 at 7:25 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • If you have the desire to cut I'd suggest you research Borderline Personality Disorder. Not diagnosing you but most cutters suffer from that. Read the criteria for having it and if it sounds like you then you might want to consider seeing a counselor and joining a group for it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:22 PM on Oct. 1, 2008

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