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2 Bumps

How can I get my twins to be a little nicer to each other and not fight all the time?

they will be 12 years old in october and they fight 75% of the time. I have tried everything. Please help me!!
They both have started their periods.

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Asked by moakes76 at 1:26 PM on Jul. 19, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • is that possible? i really like a peaceful house, one in each place of the house? mine is having a hard time controlling her emotions with just getting her "thing" as she calls it. This week she is much more pleasant and pleasing (her normal pre estrogen self).

    Answer by surfcitymom at 1:30 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • The best thing you can do is help them make up. My sister and I are about a year and half apart... so we were a lot like twin sisters in a way. We would fight, and our mom would force us to spend time together to make up. Like.. one time it got physical.. I punched the air when she was walking away and she got punched in the nose because she turned around unexpectedly... she ran away crying and my mom sent us up to the gas station to get soda and candy... and we weren't allowed to get it if we went alone.
    My mom dealt with all four of her girls by providing a lot of chocolate and trying to teach us to be nice to each other and not intentionally mean. Girls can be mean... and we have a hard enough time getting along without all the added BS.
    Good luck!

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 1:33 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • My cousin has 11 year old twin girls, they are also always fighting. I know it sounds crazy but what she will do is make them hug, first fight of the day gets 5 minutes of hug time, second 10 and so on. It really helps them, because when in an argument with a sibling the last thing they want to do is hug one another. If something happens they try to refuse to hug they will both stay in their own room until they decide to come around, which usually doesn't take too long.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 1:34 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • would any sort of reward work with them? maybe a day trip somewhere if they have been nice to each other for a specific length of time? I saw once on Super Nanny that it can be helpful to play board games.....entire family.........have teams and alternate them so ocassionally the girls are team mates. What about a scavenger hunt where they HAVE to do it cooperatively. Like having 2 clues that go together and they have to match them to get to the next? Just ideas. Good luck. They will be best friends some day, I bet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Ah...PUBERTY!!!! My twins rarely fought, but when they did....we ducked and covered (boys).
    Separate them when they start arguing. If necessary, put them in time out. They insist on acting like "children", treat them like "children". Arguing over a toy - take it away. Arguing over who is going to play the game system - shut it off. Arguing over bathroom time, you can't take that away, but you can put a timer in the bathroom and give them a set time to get ready every morning. Arguing over the TV - shut it off. Arguing over closet space - divide it evenly and put tape up.
    And don't get too disheartened - my sister and I are 3 years apart and spent our tween/teen years fighting like cats and dogs. We are now great friends - live 2 hours apart - call each other all the time, etc.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:22 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I have twin ten year old girls and luckily they don't really argue at all but they do get testy with each other sometimes. I guess that's to be expected. I just try to make sure that they have enough time apart from each other to do their own thing and be alone. I also make sure I model kind behavior and conflict resolution for them. It was super effective to do that while playing board games etc. with them. If they're getting too irritable with each other I will ask them to say how they're feeling a different, kinder way. If that doesn't work then they must put away what they were doing at the time and separate. Good luck:)


    Answer by Luuckymommy at 9:43 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Not sure how to answer this one.... My son and daughter are 14 months apart and fight like cats and dogs all the time. When you figure out how to kkep them from fighting plz let me know.. LOL... Good luck MOM...

    Answer by mistym31 at 10:29 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

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