Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Why do women pick losers?

I just don't understand it. If you know a guy is a loser why do you choose to spend the rest of your life with him and be miserable? I have heard so many stories of women who KNEW their man was a cheater when they started going out with them and yet they still end up marrying them. Do you really expect men to change because they are with YOU? Think again! Men don't change for anyone. It's time for some women to grow a spine and realize they deserve more than a cheating a-hole.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Jul. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • Not a clue! I think some women are blinded by love. They only see the good stuff and refuse to see the bad, til it's to late!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:46 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I agree. My mom and dad for example. I know it's bad to talk shit about your parents, but I know for a fact my dad is destructive and abusive. Both emotionally and physically. Yet my mom refuses to see that about him. She's in complete denial about how he treats me and how he treats her. I hate it when she does this and then she gets pissed at me for pointing out the bad things about him.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 1:48 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Some women think they can change a man ... some women think that a loser is all they deserve.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 1:48 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Woman have a hard time realizing that you cant change a man.. If they want to change they will on there own but not because you want them too.. I have been with 1 loser.. and 2 cheaters.. I dont regret it at all.. But I think its a learning experiance.

    Answer by MommySteph1011 at 1:49 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I almost married a loser. Thank GOD I dodged that bullet.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 1:50 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • AMEN!!
    I think that a lot of women just think that there are not any good men out there, or if there are, they wouldn't want to be with them. I think any woman can attract a great man with good character if she starts looking for the right things in a guy, and doesn't get caught up with the initial "greatness" that any new person usually projects. Relationships take time, but our society is more like a microwave then an oven.

    Answer by squish at 1:55 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I think the most common reason is because she lacks self-esteem & doesn't believe she can find anyone better. Many don't feel they are able to just be on their own, that they need a man to be happy or tho take care of them, & they take the first loser that pays them a little attention & it's all downhill from there. Those are the kind of me who prey on women like that too. They know the woman has no self-esteem & they use that to their advantage plus they keep them by repeatedly reminding them that they aren't worth anything & no one else would want them. It's sad really.

    Answer by ghostwriter777 at 1:59 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • 1) they are insecure & have low standards

    2) they do not allow enough time to get to know the guy before getting serious

    3) because they are attracted to "bad boys"

    4) some women like the challenge associated with difficult men

    5) she is a quiet submissive type that assholes prey for

    There are many reasons. I hate it when i see my wonderful freinds get hitched with losers. I don't get it either...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:08 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • It could be a lot of things, but mainly I think its emotional issues. Self - esteem and self-worth are definitely reasons that contribute to this, along with feelings of fear of being alone. It could also be issues called Shadow Aspect (which is a subconscious disorder) where women didn't receive the love of their father. In this case women actual look to men that are exactly like their fathers without knowing it, because in their subconscious they are trying to prove that a man like him can actually love them, when he fact he can not. They are looking to prove that there was an issue with their father, not them and by finding a man like him who can love them this theory would prove to be true for them. Also women from abuse homes tend to be co-dependent - thus feeling they can fix their partner - its much more complicated than a woman just being stupid.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:09 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I agree with the other moms that say its a self esteem issue! sometimes bad attention is better than no attention!

    Answer by gonzalez3 at 2:20 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.