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Should I push a talk?

Like the title says...I'm 6 mos preg w a guy whom I love but have been w for a short period of time. Things over the last several weeks have been going down the tube- ie in just about every way he shows little to no inerest in me. Now, I get the huge DUH factor here, so no bashing pls, but I'd like to get opinions about what to do since either way I'm preg. I've been asking like every other day for the last week for him to sit and talk to me, and he agrees, however he wont give a definite date which is a problem because I only have 2 days this week where I'll have time to talk. I'm going to tell him now that we need to talk, TONIGHT, but honestly, is it worth my damn time since it seems obvious that he's not @ all interested anymore, or should I give it a shot since I am preg? I'd like to make things work, but idk...@ this point I just want to know WTF is going on w us instead on trying to decode hints.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Jul. 19, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Whether he really wants to talk or not .. You should.. Just corner him to night and talk to him. I know it's hard when you're pregnant, and things are going great to stay really calm and rational. Those hormones kick in and keeping our emotions on an even level can be beyond our control. But try, okay :-)

    When you have this talk. Listen to and try to understand him and his feelings, just as much and as well as you want him to listen to and understand yours.

    He may be interested. he may not be. He may love you to, he may not. He may just be really confused, and unsure because things have rapidly progressed in this relationship from a short term relationship to a lifelong connection. Who knows. It could be anything and it could be nothing. But you will never know anything until you guys talk to one another about it.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:06 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I'd definitely push a talk. Even if it's just to define the direction that your relationship with him is going. You need to know!

    Answer by mommymela87 at 3:05 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I'm sorry, It sounds like your situation just sucks.
    But maybe if you wait him out, have the talk.
    Maybe he is just scared that you are pregnant,
    and scared to commit and all the other nonsense
    that brings out the little boy in a man.
    I hope you can get things worked out though.

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 3:05 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • What do the two of you have to agree on a time and place just to talk?

    It just seems weird that a couple would decide on a specific date and time to discuss a specific topic.

    Besides that, i think you have an obligation to your child you to make the best effort you can to help the relationship succeed.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 3:05 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • one last time
    then focus on your baby
    IF he comes around to his senses-great
    IF he does not-his loss


    mine was not pleased when i became pregnant, he is not a good partner, but he is a good dad

    men freak when they are going to be fathers, he may just be freakingout, give him ots of I know you will be a great dad because____blah blah blah
    he MAY just need an ego boost

    Answer by fiatpax at 3:06 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • lol obviously Im not anon anymore but one of these clues I get is he is consistantly 'too busy' for me, and I have 2 other kids that I get for half the week...there's a small window between when he's off work and I dont have my kids. I don't think he's scared as much as he is just not willing to deal with the responsibilities of it all. I feel like such a dumbass and a pest tho continuously asking, like him not answering me isn't enough of an answer. But for as much as I don't want to ask, I also know this is serious with a kid involved and I can't be playing the guessing game...I feel soo indecisive tho.

    Answer by nappeal at 3:10 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • OK
    #1. You don't have to decode hints. I know it feels that way but he's speaking Man Speak and he's saying "I don't want the responsibility." If you sit back and observe you'll see that he's being quite clear. I know that's a hurtful thing but you are not alone in wanting to believe that this was a decent enough human being to have sex with. I don't know any woman who hasn't experienced that.
    #2. WTF is going on. The folly you mentioned you did not want to be bashed for is really giving him the power to drive the situation. Where did he take you? Ask yourself. Take control of the situation, what do you want from him. Are you ready to get ugly if you have to or do you need him at all? You have options but do you want to go there? You can't force him to pay unless you're ready to let him go and ride it out in court. If you try to force him into a relationship he'll make you regret it, consciously or unconsciously.

    Answer by mayality at 3:19 PM on Jul. 19, 2010