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Needing support...divorce question.

My husband and I are getting a divorce, but due to financial reasons, we have decided to put it off for at least a year. The problem is we both still want to "get on with our lives".

I am still mourning the loss of my marriage. Not him, just the marriage, if that makes sense. We have two small children, so how can I do that (get on with my life) with a 5 and 7 year old.

Is it wrong to date when we are still "legally married" with two kids?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Jul. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Is there a legal aid where you live? They can supply you with a lawyer that is very inexpensive. It is hard to get on emotionally with your life until those papers are signed...well it was for me at least. I could finally let go completely when it was just over.
    The choice to date other people while you are still legally married is up to you..but many men don't like the idea of dating a "married" woman..even if you are planning a divorce.
    I wish ya good luck.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:51 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I've often wondered this myself, I think it would be difficult to date while living in the same house and raising the children together. I think for the emotional and mental well being of the children I would not date, only because you wouldn't want them to see that's how a marriage works. Not saying you would bring some one home, but at the same time children are good at deciphering things that are going on, by hearing conversation, seeing that mommy and daddy aren't doing things together, seeing that you are going out more...it could have an effect on them or cause them worry. My husband and I have been having problems for over a year, I left for 8 months, when I came home it was still bad. 3 months later its finally starting to work again. It has taken a toll on my children, and that's the one thing I regret. I never introduced them to men I was dating, and we tried to do family things, but it still effected them.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:52 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • In this economy more and more people are cohabitating for this very reason. I think it would however be awkward for me to be dating when he was still under the same roof...and try explaining that to a date lol. I would keep my options open, but really work on looking into a divorce.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 4:11 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Go to Legal Aid and get it done for free
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:07 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • nope I don''t see anything wrong with that at all. If the marriage is over, then it is over. No sense in waiting around for legalities. Anyway, you should go down to the county court house, you may quality for a fee waiver.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 6:45 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • If you two are living apart, then I say tell them that mommy and Daddy won't be married anymore. I don't think that they are going to base their picture of this situation on whether or not the two of you have a paper stated the marriage is dissolved.

    but if you are still living under the same roof, then I think the dating needs to wait.
    also, If you are going to start dating, I would draw up some sort of written agreement with your husband as to what your agreement is, dating or otherwise.
    no matter what he says now, if you start dating while still married to him, it could get ugly. He could peg your for adultery, maybe he would refuse to leave,
    I would just play it as safe as possible.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:16 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

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