Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Boys will be boys? Playing too rough? Where do you draw the line?

My boys are 6 and 3 (and 1 but he doesn't really apply to this question, yet). They are constantly rough-housing, wrestling, just generally horsing around with each other. At some point one or the other inevitablly gets hurt. Nothing serious, a bump here...a stratch there. I, personally, would like to enforce a strict 'keep your hands, feet and body to yourself' rule. My hubbs says they are boys and that's just how they play and as long as they are not hurting each other then it's fine. Opinions???

Answer Question

Asked by brykev at 4:07 PM on Jul. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Maybe your husband will eat his words if one gets seriously hurt. (which I hope never happens)

    I think Mom's think more about the cause and effect law. Most men think what's a little rough housing ... it's gonna just make them tough. When sometimes that carries over to school or day care.

    I think you would do what your heart tells you.... That's the safest way to go!

    Answer by Dannille33 at 4:10 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • My dh and my son play like this....and YES one of them inevitably gets hurt,..

    I agree that boys will be boys and its just built into their nature to do this. I would just limit it by saying no punching or scratching especially on purpose.

    Just dh laughed at that too.

    I might start a way to calm it down, for instance if they are getting too carried away I would say...."123 backoff" or something like they would know, they can still play but know that they are getting too rough.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 4:10 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • i agree with your husband. i have lots of little boy cousins and they all do the same thing. even the girls jump in sometimes too. its all in good fun, and usually it is fun for a quite a while until someone gets pushed a little to hard or whatever, and then thats where you end it. im not saying you should be letting them kill eachother, but theres nothing wrong with some wrestling and sometimes kids get hurt.
    but maybe if you can afford it, you should put them in karate! its a safe way to "rough house", learn discipline and how and when to use your fighting skills.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 4:11 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I have an only so it is not an issue at my home, but he does have friends that want to wrestle.. Two friends in particular that are incredibly rough and I DO tell them to keep their hands to themselves.

    Answer by KTMOM at 4:16 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • As much as it pains me to say this UGH....I agree with PURPUL. My boys rough house all day long. I get on the floor and fight with them and so does their dad. It how they play if somebody gets hurts they get fixed up and the fight is on again. It hasn't landed us in the ER yet but, they are only 6 and 8.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 4:18 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I have three boys (7, 5 and almost 2) and we have a time and a place rule. They have to be respectful to the each other and careful to the each other. They are going to get hurt once and a while, you can't bubble wrap them up, just let them know when it's appropriate. Get down with them and rough house, it's a ton of fun and your boys will love that they can "take down mommy" too! :)

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 4:21 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • This topic is a running battle in our family. DH comes from a family that plays rough, even adults roughhouse with the kids. Inevitably, a kid gets hurt. To some extent I will say that kids, especially boys, like to play hard and sometimes they will get hurt. That is when I would say, that is why you were told to tone it down and not be so rough with each other. When I see my son getting encouraged by adults who have no excuse because they should know better, I step in and say no more, time to calm down or we go home. If someone gets angry, that is their problem. When a child gets hurt every time, it's not just playing anymore, it's too much and definitely time to stop it but like I said earlier, it's a battle for us. And unfortunately too many dads think it's okay until they're sitting in an ER trying to convince an overzealous but well meaning doctor that it really was an accident from rough play.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:26 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I hate the "Boys will be boys" answer. It's just an excuse for guys to get away with lude, obnoxious, and agressive behaviour. It shouldn't be tolerated if it isn't appropriate. Regardless of the gender. If you feel that they're playing too rough, then tell them to be more gentle. Now it may be a bruise or a scratch, but next time it may be a broken bone or a concussion. No parent wants that time to come and it is bound to happen then longer they're allowed to rough house like they are.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:54 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I have 3 boys - well 4 if you count my hubby - and they all rough house. I think it is normal, but like other moms have said you just have to have limits or supervise and watch for signs it's getting a little too rough. Because, yes, the kids get caught up in it and someone does get hurt - not on purpose, but just through being overexcited. So I keep an eye and an ear out and when I can tell they're walking the edge between having fun and getting serious, I tell them it's time to calm down. Sometimes that means sending them outside to work off the excess energy, or sending them to separate areas to let the adrenaline go down. It's not only boys though, I have a niece who is just as rough and tumble as the boys and is in on any rough housing she can be - and she's one of the toughest to get to calm down.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 4:57 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I have two boys and the rough house all the time. Generally its wrestling because they are both in the sport, my older son will try to help my younger son with new moves, but occassionally its just what they do when they are bored. I've wrestled with them and so has my husband. I figure as long as nothing is getting broken and they aren't getting hurt I don't worry about it, unless its starts to annoy rule is no freaking whining. I can't stand that. Its funny because as much as they fight, they are first one's to be there for each other. My older son is always helping my younger son with sports, with questions anything really. They are most certainly there for each other and are appropriate at family gatherings and in public. So I guess I don't make a big thing about it in my home.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 5:41 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in General Parenting

Next question overall (Babies (0-12 months))
Growth Spurt