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10yr old caught watching porn.. adult content

My 10yr old dd was staying the night at my moms lastnight and my mother called me this morning to tell me that her husband walked into the living room and caught my dd watching 2 people have sex on cinamax when she was supposed to be watching spongebob. My dd knows exactly what she is allowed to watch on tv, she's not even allowed to watch icarly or hannah montana because i think it causes her to act too mature for her age. She got in trouble by my mom lastnight but i'm getting ready to pick her up from camp in a minute and i just really dont even know what to do or say to her about it. I'm furious because she knows better than this. What is a good punishment and what should i say to her about what she saw? From what i was told, it was 2 butt naked people having full blown sex is what she saw. Thanks.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jul. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (24)
  • She is just curious..... It is normal around that age..... I would talk to her and tell her that what she did was inappropriate and that she knew better then to watch stuff like that... tell her what she saw is only appropriate for adults that love eachother..... I think you should have "the talk" with her.... GL!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 4:19 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Wow. I would just talk to her and ask why she wanted to watch. Maybe she was curious or overheard classmates talking about sex. Try to stay calm and let her know she can come to you about anything. No reason to make her feel shameful.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 4:19 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • the first time i ever watched porn, i was 10 years old. i really couldnt help it. curiosity, hormones, whatever it was..
    its a normal part of life. why would you punish her for that? i really dont think thats a reason to be punished.
    sex and being horny, and all those things, are natural feelings that people have no control over. dont make her feel ashamed and embarrased about that. you shouldnt punish her at all, just talk to her about std's, and pregnancy and things like that. & BTW just bc i watched porn didnt mean i was having sex, or wanting to have sex at 10 yrs old.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 4:20 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • OK,
    Here's what I can say about this...
    I had the same thing happen with both my kids .. My daughter was like 12 and I had found a places she was searching hers was just the meanings to the words like sex and body parts. I was so in awww I mean what the heck? So I had a talk with her and she talked with a therapist. All was taken care of.
    Then when my son turned 10 I found him watching it. I was like what the heck? I talked to him and took him to the doctor. The doctor said that as much as things are talked about and said at school kids build up a huge interest to these topics. After a while they begin to look to see what all the talk is about.
    Then you factor in how even regular tv talks about sex and all. It's all over everywhere and our kids are learning way to much way to fast.
    I would talk with your son. I would tell him to always be open with you and your DH and that if he has any questions to come to you and ask .

    Answer by Dannille33 at 4:21 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • If you make it weird she will too. Don't be too hard on her and tell her you are there for her to talk to. Make it an open door policy on it. If you show concern but talk as if you really just want to understand she will be more likely to open up to you. She is probably already super embarassed...

    Answer by ABusyBee at 4:21 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • & to be honest with you, i think its a little ridiculous that you wont let her watch icarly and hannah montanna.
    jesus christ, what do you expect her to be a nun for the rest of your life or something?
    its ok sweetie, let go alittle bit, i promise she wont turn in to a prostitue because she watched hannah montanna.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 4:22 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • While it is burning your butt, maybe it's just childhood curiousity. If it was me, I would probably explain that that is for adults only and that she shouldn't be watching it. I wouldn't punish her (this time) because it could be she was just curious. I believe it's normal for children to be curious about sexuality at some point.
    My bigger concern would be how she got on something like that. Maybe those channels should be child-proofed at your mom's. If it were me, lol, I'd probably be more mad at my mom :-/ lol

    Answer by mellie369 at 4:22 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • they say the average 12 yr old girl has been to bed(wheather intercourse heavy petting or just foreplay) with 2 boysd. put that under your hat. naked people are everywhere, shoot some comercials are porn, or should be. just talk to her, ANSWER HER QUESTIONS AND DON"T CHASTIZE HER FOR IT!!!!!! let her know it ok. Just dont make her feel awkward or bad.

    Answer by shesahophead at 4:22 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • You NEED TO TALK TO HER ABOUT SEX, sorry, but do it age appropriately. There are books out there to help you.

    If you forbid her to know about it, someone else (kids) will tell her their version of it.

    Better to have an informed child that a misinformed child.

    Good luck.

    Answer by AdrianaS at 4:22 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Well now she knows the how the physical act goes! Be really careful not to make this something that will scar her or make her think sex is bad. It might catch her by surprise, but just say Grandma told me about last night. You are disappointed that she decided to go against your rules. She knows the rules and now she can't have the computer for a week, no friends, no cellphone (if she has one), and add anything else you want to. Then tell her she has to show you responsibility and earn each one back, one at a time. You get to say when she gets them back.

    Then! Now its time to start with the discussion of the birds and bees. Ask her if she has any questions. You know she is curious but you feel she is too young to understand it all. If you go at this aggressively it will totally blow up in your face. She will sneak around behind your back. It will happen again. It is normal for kids that age to have a curiosity.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 4:23 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

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