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How do you stop fighting and encourge sharing

I have two boys a 3yo and a 1 yo. They fight over everything, toys, where they sit, blankets, anything not bolted to the floor. I am at my wits end. I am at the point that when they start fighting I just take whatever it is that they're fighting over and stash it in my room. I try to encourage them to share, take turns playing with the toy, I even show them how to play with it together, but as soon as I walk away all hell breaks loose. They are so close in age the 1yo will be 2 in a few months. I just fear that this how it will be for years to come with them, so I want to nip it in the bud now.

So how do you ladies encourage your little ones to share with their siblings and stop all the rivalry?

Answer Question

Asked by mom2gavahnyaand at 8:11 PM on Jul. 19, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • when my girls started fighting I would tell them.... princesses don't fight, princesses share, I tell my nephews Spiderman share spiderman doesn't fight with people he loves......they love spiderman but also transformers so I try to use that, and it works I have to redirect but it works.

    Answer by babyangelromero at 8:14 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • when anyone figures that out let me know! My 2 and 1 yr old go at it like cats and dogs!

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 8:16 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • lol....."sigh" sorry I have no clue, but I am looking for some advice on this as well. Mine are girls ages 5 and 2.5 and they fight litterly all day long from the time they wake up until they go to bed, they have been fighting since the youngest started walking at 11 months. They fight over anything and everything. Toys or the seat they are sitting in or they kick eachother they try annoying eachother everything lol

    Answer by mommy5409 at 8:24 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • When you find out, let me know.
    My 14 month old daughter and my 13 month old nephew fight constantly over everything.

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 8:29 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I would continue to show them that they need to share with you each other and other kids.
    I would also continue to remove the object they fight over. Eventually it will sink in.
    The key to good parenting is to not give up and be consistant 100% of the time.
    I would also seperate them even if you have to use a gate or a high chair. give them a time out from each other. I would also give them things to do that are structered or at least monitored by you. I love to take vanila pudding and color it and let my kids finger paint that way if they eat it who cares its safe. I also make kool aid clay that is something they can eat to with out worry, table time is a great place to learn and play
    Stay strong momma

    Answer by justgrape723 at 8:56 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Consistency of how you handle the situation, as in showing them how to share and take turns, will help greatly! Like the idea of related how spiderman or a princess don't like to fight...other than that you don't have many options...its just not really in a child to fully understand that you have to share....i am having a very hard time with my 18 month old who goes to the daycare I work at to share with the other kids and to get the kids to share with him. Ages range from newborn to 4. Hope you find something that works for your children.

    Answer by leann74016 at 11:22 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I want to know that answer two. I have a all boys 6, 3 and 1. if the two older ones aren't fighting they two younger ones are.

    Answer by krauseboys at 11:26 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • So difficult to do, as from what I have read in my development book, the one year old can't grasp the concept of sharing yet, and the 3 year is just starting to be mature enough to grasp how to share. I agree supervised planned acitivities will help until they mature a little more. I agree to continue to take toys away consistently when they are bickering. I agree with giving time-outs for unacceptable behavior. I also would roleplay with their stuffed animals or figurines on a pretty frequent basis on how to share and it's positive outcome and how fighting that ends in "big bad ugly outcomes". I would also review their "fighting" ways and behaviors every night on the 3 year olds chore chart. He gets a "star" for sharing all day, no star for fighting. And then discuss it every night how he will continue good behavior, or change his naughty behavior tomorrow. Once again consistency every night. Keep up the good work, mama!

    Answer by Marti123 at 11:44 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Be consistant! When they start to fight make an offer like "so and so gets the toy for 5min, than switch, or the toy disappears." Also if it happens that often, switch off who gets the toy first. If all else fails, try time out until they can share. The younger one might take a few times to really understand why he's in time out and can't play for a few minutes, but your 3yr old should catch on real quickly, and I'm sure once he realizes the options are to share for a few minutes, or sit by himself quietly, he'll choose to share. Don't give up though! :)

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 1:54 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

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