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Okay..I went and picked out a few books for my 10 yr old son about puberty and the birds and bees...

Do you think I should sit down with him and read it together first or should I let him look them over by himself first and then go over everything with him?


Asked by kimberlyinberea at 8:32 PM on Jul. 19, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (10)
  • My friend, who is a child and family therapist, bought her son a book, let him read it, and then I think she just asked him if he had questions and went over things with him.

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:06 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Either way is good, as long as you talk with him about it. Way to go being pro active....

    so many parents think "my child wouldnt do this" or "they are too young" I think 10 is a GREAT age to get into the full range of puberty info... My son is almost 7 and we have had discussions, I think its an ongoing education led by the parents....


    you rock


    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:34 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I think its important he knows he can talk to his mom or dad.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:39 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • you read them first give him the talk ( i gave my oldest his talk while I was driving he felt more comfortable that way becasue I had to keep my eyes on the road and couldn't look at him to embarrass him.) Asked him if he has any quesations for you. For us I treated it almost like a business meeting I stated the facts the myths etc. I also informed him HE HAD TO Be in charge of any and all birth control. I also told my son others he could talk to (his Dad, his Aunt, school nurse, Doctor etc) and made sure he knew all conversations with his doctor would be kept between him and his Doctor unless he said Doc could talk to me. I then gave him all the info and told him to read any and all of it if he had questions and to feel free to ask me either by note or verbally if he had questions.
    Worked well for us
    good luck

    Answer by justgrape723 at 8:43 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • BBC and Discovery have done some great "about the body" videos too... my children and I watch them all the time. I want them to realize that what happens to them is normal. As they grow and come across changes in themselves, they note them on the shows and we talk about them.

    In case he doesn't respond well to the reading materials or you guys find it difficult to talk about, sometimes the movie helps give you both an in-between. :-) Good Luck.

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 8:44 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Not all families are nuclear.

    I would have him read and let him know you are there for questions he may have and that you and he will be talking about it afterwards.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 8:44 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • I read a few books, then talked to my 10 year old (his dad and I aren't together and his dad doesn't feel like he needs the info yet, so it was left up to me), then gave him the books to read through on his own. I also made sure that he knew he could ask me any questions he wanted - his questions were what prompted me to get the books and read up. I also told him he could talk to his dad, stepdad, grandfather, etc. if he wanted a "male perspective"

    Answer by missanc at 9:27 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • That was a very wise idea, I think you should just let him read it and tell him you will be more than glad to answer any questions he might have.

    Answer by older at 11:18 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Thanks mom2twobabies. We've talked about little things over the years...but I feel like right now is the time for him to get the bigger picture on things. I can see he's about to hit puberty..his emotions are a little wacky and he's been asking a lot of I know he's ready to hear the

    GinNTonic..that would be a great thing..but his father lives in another state and my dh won't even talk to his own sons about the stuff. Soo I think I can handle it. My son and I have always had a pretty good relationship with is a tough subject to talk about. I'd rather him talking to me about it than anyone else to be honest with ya.

    Comment by kimberlyinberea (original poster) at 8:41 PM on Jul. 19, 2010

  • Why doesn't your husband just talk to him? Or any kind of male figure. I think a boy that age would rather hear that talk from another male figure, not his mom. Sorry but things like that are best for same sex conversations when the kids are young like that.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 8:36 PM on Jul. 19, 2010