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Face Book and Ex's

Me and my husband both have a FB account. I have mutual friends from church, girls I went to school with etc. I have no one on there that I have dated or slept with. My hubby on the other hand has an ex, his ex wife and other ladies I don't know. I have asked him to take them off his list but he tells me, "No big deal, it's not like I can cheat on you on the computer." ( whatever dude...) I don't feel comfortable with him having this ladies on there and not even some of his guy friends I know have a FB. Am I over reacting or just simply demandind some marital respect here???

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MissMeredith

Asked by MissMeredith at 12:55 AM on Jul. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (68 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • It sounds like he's not gonna respect your wishes right now. But you've said your piece. Anything more would be nagging. Pray about it...
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:58 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Men are so different.
    When my ex contacted me one time (we were together for 4 years and he was there for me through my worst times)my husband freaked but yet he feels its okay to have all of his exs and one night stands on his friends list on facebook and thinks its no big deal
    I would tell him you don't feel comfortable with him still talking to his es,. there is a reason why they're exs and they should stay that way and the past should satay in the past.
    As for his wife if they have kids together I can see why they are on the friends list if they dont then i have no idea why he would want his ex wife on his facebook
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:00 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I have exes on my FB - it's nice to stay in touch with people I am friendly with. That's all. I have absolutely NO intention of cheating with any of them, and even if I were single I would not consider it. They are exes for a reason. And the fact that I am friends, publicly, with these guys - hopefully shows my husband that I have nothing to hide. I also leave my FB and email open all the time so if he really wanted to snoop into my business, he could, and would be bored to death at the lack of flirtation with anyone else but him. :)

    Everyone is different but that's how I feel. If he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat. Keeping in touch with people from his past really has nothing to do with it either way.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 1:01 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • thankfully my DH is understanding. . .and I am vindictive. . .lol. . .he offered to take his ex's off, but I told him that was ok. . .I have his passwords anyhow. . .
    You have said your piece and like it was already said you don't want to nag. . .that is not going to make things better for you. Hopefully he will start to understand and respect your wishes. GL
    Kirs

    Answer by Kirs at 1:04 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • it is a form of respect...i agree! so if someone doesnt like their man is looking at porn does that mean he can because he cant cheat with them? i would have a problem with ex's. although i have one on mine and his family but i told my hubby and he added him too as a friend and i do make sure hubby is ok with it.

    i would also have a problem with him chatting with them too.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:05 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Well I think you are right I think that if you feel like he is not givin you respect by doing that you have the right to tell him and let him know how you feel about it, if he is not going to have any contact with the what is the big deal on erase them??? Anyways with me and my husband it works like this he used to had some of his ex's on facebook he never talk to them but still I asked him to erase them and he did.
    Lizygoinghooray

    Answer by Lizygoinghooray at 1:40 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I have ex's on facebook too & so does my DH. I am even friends with some of HIS ex's on facebook. BUT, we trust each other %100. We also realize that the past was a long time ago. Our ex's were people we were firends with, not just people we fucked. I have 2 ex's on facebook & my DH has 3 ex's on facebook. Neither of us care at all. BUT, we both know each others passwords. We never go on each others page though, there is no need too. That is silly.

    I'd only think you are over reacting IF you have no reason to believe that your ex would want more from these ladies.

    BUT, IF you have good reason to not trust your SO, then i would say no, you're not over reacting. It's all about trust. If you don't trust him, then you shouldn't be with him anyway.

    Take some HOT photo's of the two of you & "tag" him on facebook so that everyone knows he is taken. I don't think it's a big deal to have ex's on facebook.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:33 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • funny, because my ex husband whom i share kids with...is the only ex I'm not friends with on facebook. I really want my life to be private from him, i don't want him knowing all of my business.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:35 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I think he should respect what you want since you are respecting him in that aspect. If he insists on keeping them as friends then you should have his password since it's "no big deal" to him. Give him your password too just to be fair.
    mommymela87

    Answer by mommymela87 at 10:08 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • If you have trust in your marriage then this shouldn't be a problem. My husband has his ex on his FB as they have a daughter together. He also has females on his FB that he was friends with when he lived in Massachusetts with his ex, and I still don't care about it. I also have my ex husband and father of my kids (who are all grown adults now) on my FB and I even have a guy I dated back in high school on there, but it's no big deal. We have each other's passwords and if we ever wanted to check up on the other we could, but we don't because there is no need. Now if hubby were hiding this from me, or lying about it, and I didn't have his password, I might be a little more uncomfortable with it. But because of the openness and trust and respect in our marriage, I am completely okay with the girls on his FB account.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 11:46 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

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