Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I read a post and it's had me thinking ever since. What do you think about very young girls trying to get pregnant on purpose?

I think it's very sad. I wonder what the reasons a young teen would have to want to get pregnant on purpose. Maybe they just really want to be loved? Idk, but I wish I could just give her a hug and fill that void that is in her that she thinks only a baby will fill. Seems to me that only a damaged kid would feel the need to have a baby before they even know how the process even works. Any stories, anyone you know do this? How did things turn out for them? What are your thoughts? It's like that lifetime movie about all the teens that made that pact or something. Did any of you ladies have a baby at 16 on purpose, and what type of reflections do you have looking back? I'm really just curious.

Answer Question
 
AshleyBDG

Asked by AshleyBDG at 10:06 AM on Jul. 20, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 17 (4,585 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I don't think teen-pregnancy is bad. What's bad is idea the people have that teens aren't capable of raising a child.
    Honestbest

    Answer by Honestbest at 10:13 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I did not have a baby at 16 but I wanted one at 16. I thought about it almost night and day. I never tricked anyone into getting me pregnant or anything of that nature it just happened to be on my mind. I think what made me feel that way was that many of my friends were becoming moms at young ages that once there baby had come they had no time to be a kid any more. I lost a lot of my friends because of it so I felt as though if I would have one to then we would have something in common and be able to be friends again, but I knew if was wrong and reflecting back on it I am glad that I waited because I am the only one out of my friends who finished high school and who is going to college. I am also the only one out of my friends who is married and with a kid on the way. All of my other friends relationships did not work out. I am so glad that I waited
    lazo060109

    Answer by lazo060109 at 10:14 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I know, I saw that too...it made me sad.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:15 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Oh boy, I think I may have seen those same posts. So sad :( I cant even begin to think about why they do these things on purpose, attention maybe??
    KaRaBaSsEtT

    Answer by KaRaBaSsEtT at 10:18 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I think that very young girls that are TRYING to get pregnant are misguided and maybe feel that something is missing in her life. I think that they want something of thier very own to take care of and love. I think it is sad. I'm not saying that a teen mom makes a bad mom.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:20 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • its not that teens 'aren't capable', so much, but more because there are so many things going on at that time of life, so many physical/mental changes..they haven't even figured out how to parallel park, or some haven't filled out job apps or even written a check. there's so much 'life-learning' to be done and experienced, why add the responsibility of a totally dependent human being on top of that?
    IMO, teens that get preg on purpose are searching for attention they have not recieved, mostly from lack of parental participation in their lives. i don't know where we've gone wrong telling girls that if they waited to have sex 'for the right one'; some think the moment his sperm makes it to the egg factory, he's gonna want to be by her side for all eternity. we don't teach boys that, do we? teens fall in love so easily, and the when a girl gets preg, she wrongly thinks it seals the relationship. why can't we just be frank?
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:29 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I was never trying to get pregnant. I did at 18 but still not on purpose. I think many times these girls feel there is nothing left for them. They may feel like it is the way to keep the guy they are with or that this makes it so that someone is their own. I think that many are more than capable of taking care of the child they want and can without many issues. I think society has made us all think teens are not capable of a lot. My grandmother is going to be 87 and had her first child at 16 and was married at 15. Times change because we have let them and we have made things seem so horrible that has occurred since long before we were around.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 10:37 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I think young girls who intentionally try to get pregnant are in desperate need of love and attention from their parents and family. They may not realize it because they've reached an age when they feel that their parents are completely out of touch with reality, but they do need them. I had my oldest at 17. I wasn't consciously trying to get pregnant but I was fully aware that I was taking no precautions to stop it. I think deep down I wanted a baby. I just couldn't admit that to myself.

    My parents were pretty absent for the most part. My dad was more about life lessons and less about affection. My mother was preoccupied with her job and a very busy social calendar. Without my parents or any extended family to show me what it was like to truly feel loved, I went looking for it on my own and came out in a pretty bad place. I ended up pregnant at 16 and marrying an older man before I graduated high school.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 10:37 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I learned enough from my own history to make sure my kids don't have to search for love on their own. My life has turned out unexpectedly well but for my daughter's sake, I do wish I could change the way it all started.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 10:38 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I don't think that teen moms are incapable of being good moms. There are some that turn out to be great, but you must admit it's a long journey and all odds are against them. Also since most 16yr olds are either working a crappy job or have no job at all, they usually end up working a ton, several jobs, or going to school and working, and who raises the baby, the grandparents or someone else. I'm not saying this is always the case by any means, but it happens often. I have a good friend who got pregnant at 15, and then again at 18. She actually went into counseling and asked the therapist, I have a 3yr old and I'm pregnant and I'm 18 I want to know why I keep doing this to myself. It was a long road for her, she's really come a long way and done very well. She's a nurse now, but now she's 34 and she has 4 kids by 3 different guys, is divorced and she couldn't have done it without her mom those first 5 years.
    AshleyBDG

    Comment by AshleyBDG (original poster) at 10:48 AM on Jul. 20, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN