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is this life now???

so after temporary custody battle is life now kiss the sperm donors butt? I mean he has yet to pay any support has not paid one doctor bill has not given me his insurance card and has not paid half of chlid care and this is only the second month of this battle. but you can be damn sure he makes 'HIS' visitations and even tho they are supervised by me he says i can come join them..i cant do this! how do you deal with these people..do we as good moms go to court just to give them less rights? WHERE are my rights? but i cant deny him visitation bc that looks bad on me! are you serious? do you ladies just kiss the jerks ass so maybe he will be nice and maybe he will understand that a two month old breastfeed baby needs his mom..This guy was a one night stand and never cared about shit but now he is a court appointed dad. should i be nice or be a bitch which has the better out come even thou he is a drunk he will have e/o weekend

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Troy56

Asked by Troy56 at 12:19 PM on Jul. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I'm sorry. I have no answers or advice, just wanted to give you hugs and say sorry.
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 12:22 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Well it's not so much about kissing their asses, but it looks better on you if you go above and beyond to be nice to him. If you show that you are cooperating and being reasonable without losing your cool, that will pay off tremendously. If he hasn't paid child support, file a motion stating that he is in contempt. You cannot refuse him visitation because of child support. You can be held in contempt for that. Be nice and show that you are the bigger person. GL
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 12:23 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • No, actually you toughen up, educate yourself on YOUR rights and demand that he complies with court orders. YOU do whatever it takes to make sure that he is fulfilling his obligations. My ex tried to push me around when I had no money and barely a roof over my head, he made $100,000.00 + a year and had a pricey attorney. I did my research and dedicated myself to the fight. This is my child we are talking about and I was not just an oven. He took me to court over and over, I stood my ground, with no lawyer but I knew what MY rights were and I understood the system because I chose not to lay down and be walked on, I chose to learn and learn it all on my own.
    You do not look like the bad guy if you deny him visitations when he is not keeping up with his obligations, being a father IS actually more than just wuality time with his child, it's also financial and emotional. Period. No need to kiss his ass.
    Good luck! =)
    Liz30355

    Answer by Liz30355 at 12:28 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • As much as it galls me to say it, you can't deny him visitation because he is an immature little a**hole and won't pay child support. It would go bad on you in court if he chose to take you back for that reason and it sounds like he would. You might want to go ahead and report that he is not paying because he should if he wants to play daddy. I can't stand to see things like this, a guy wants to visit but refuses to honor a court order and help make sure his child has what they need. Keep your head on straight and be the adult in the situation. He sure isn't apparently.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:30 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • If being nice helps to get what you want out of it all for the baby and yourself,than by all means do so. If it doesn't change what is already happening,then you need to try a different approach.There are always more than one approach to a problem.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 12:35 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Well he is seeing his son right? It was a one night stand and I bet you did not expect to get pregnant right? Do you think life is like a movie.(Knocked up) He is doing what he has to because he didn't carry the baby. He had sex not thinking anything of it and become a father. If you're a bitch to him it will hurt your child. He is the father get over it!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 12:41 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

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