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2 Bumps

For your kid's birthday, do you invite the entire class or just a few kids?

My daughter (2 yrs old) started preschool a few months back. She immediately became close friends to another 3 yr old and they are practically inseparable. Its so cute watching them. Anyway, this girls mom, for some reason, does not talk to me, look in my direction, or acknowledge me sometimes. Whenever I say hi, she pretends to not hear me or even look at me. I am thinking she might not like that we are black and her daughter likes mine. I cant think of any other reason besides that...There are only about 25 kids in the school and yes, we are the only black family.

Last weekend was her kids bday and she invited the entire class, minus my daughter. In fact, I had no idea we were the only ones not invited until her DD came up to me and asked my why my DD didnt come to her party on Saturday. I told her I was not aware it was her bday because we did not get an invitation. And she goes, "well, everyone came except her". ...cont

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Jul. 20, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • NOT COOL! No I would never do that. Ever. That is unfair to everyone involved!

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:13 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • AW!! How rotten and sad. :( I'm sorry your daughter was excluded. I don't know why that mother is acting like that, but irregardless, it was wrong. I would verify that the invites were not overlooked - lost in a cubby or something. Most school's seem to have the same policy - you can't hand out invites in school if you don't hand them out to everyone in class. In our schools the teachers actually put the invites in the folder or cubby.

    For my two, I can't afford (or want to, frankly) to invite the entire class. Instead we ask the kids to select 2-3 good friends and we do something special with just them. My son last year took two friends on a pirate cruise up and down the area river. This year they went to a bounce gym. DD takes friends to Build a Bear. If we *are* going to invite a large number from any one group (scouts, teams, school) we do invite the whole group.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 1:18 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Oh my gosh! I am so sorry you are dealing with this right now. I wish I had some advice or kind words. Hang in there and keep trying to be nice and just let your DD have fun. Good luck!

    Answer by chupachyps at 1:18 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • we invited the entire class, 15. about 6 came, so i was out for a whole crew of prizes/giftbags, not to mention space-rental, cupcakes/punch. really, you have no idea who's coming and who's not..NO ONE RSVPs these days. ARGH!!!! (nobodys is taught etiquette/manners, it seems)
    you really don't know how many of the class actually came, and perhaps it was an honest mistake on the mother's part. i wouldn't make a big deal out of it. if you are correct in your assumption, would you really want or feel comfortable having your daughter be at the other kid's party anyway? i wouldn't.
    just continue being the bigger, friendlier person, and teach your child the same. its the other person who will suffer from their lack of love and kindness.

    Answer by dullscissors at 1:19 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I don't see a need to invite the entire class, but I would make a point to invite those kids who my child is close to - race aside! I think it's sad that this is even an issue today...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:21 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I'm sorry you went through that. I hope everything works out for the best. For my daughters birthday I only plan to invite 2 or 3kids that she's close to.

    Answer by Cassandre at 2:48 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • How sad. We always invite the entire class. There are only 9 kids in his class though. The thing is we ALWAYS invite the entire class.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 3:19 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Wow, if that was intentional (sad to say it probably was) it was disgusting. How another mother could hurt a small child (by exclusion) is beyond me! At that age, we usually just invite a family and a few close friends and we mail the invites. Otherwise, invite the entire class and continue to be the bigger person. That is just awful and I am sorry you and your daughter had to experience that.

    Answer by Lily23 at 5:05 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

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